Overcoming our OWN flesh can be one of the single most difficult struggles we face, because we have not yet understood where are real battles are……..within ourselves! Let that sink in a moment.

So many pass judgment on their spouses for their stubborn, rebellious, flesh-led choices, when they are doing the exact same thing. They are being led by the hurt, anger, pride, and even bitterness that comes when their spouse rejects and is unfaithful to them. 

Standers will be asked to do things that go completely against the norm. Living with a spouse that is actively lawless and rebellious, or worse……..in adultery. That doesn’t mean the Stander is in any way, shape or form OKAY with this, it means that either they have really prayed and God told them to remain, or they have been led by the flesh and remain out of fear or other logic that comes from feelings and beliefs.

So how does a person know how they are being led and just who they are listening to?

The Word of God gives clear precise direction on how we are to be led in life. That our FLESH must daily die, which means that it’s an active ONGOING crucifixion where all day, every day, 24/7 you have a hammer and are nailing your flesh to the cross. 

16 So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. 17 For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever you want. Galatians 5:16-17

IF you belong to Jesus it means it shows on you. It shows if you belong to yourself because you put yourself first, or you have chosen to submit to the Lord and die to yourself to do HIS will. 

Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. Galatians 5:24

We are to WALK, not sleep, rest, stand……..but WALK in the spirit, having self-control of our flesh while letting the spirit of God lead us.

We are to be spirit-led, spirit-filled, and learn the difference between what our flesh is saying and what God is saying.

When you wake up, get angry, thinking about your spouse and everything they have done. If you enter into a conversation with them or someone else and it brings hopelessness and defeat, discouragement or fear………….and then from THAT place you start to form direction………..you are not in the spirit of God being led by Him. You are in the spirit of self, the spirit of fear, the spirit of anger, the spirit of the flesh, and leaning on your own understanding!


BUT when you are quiet with God. Submitted to Him, pressing into Him in praise, in thanksgiving, in worship and submitting your will to His, and the direction comes to you on what to do…………and with it comes no ulterior motives that say “I don’t deserve this.” or “I’m too tired to go on.” But instead, you feel wisdom from the Lord and truth about what He is asking of you and sometimes why. THAT is being led by God. That is being led by and walking in the spirit.

Our most important decisions need to come by way of the FRUIT of the spirit, not the fruit of the flesh. But most people don’t know how to make those decisions that way because they have never learned to die to themselves. They only know how to live ruled by feelings and emotions and the logic that comes with that.

Do you want to stand firm with power and authority? Do you want to stand properly? Do you want to LIVE life the way God intended in ALL areas of your life, not just standing?

Then learn how to walk in the fruit of the spirit. 

The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; 20 idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions 21and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God. 22But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. 24 Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. 26 Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit.  Galatians 5:19

I love how it says that when you are walking in the fruit of the spirit, there is no law, no rules. No one can come at you and tell you are doing wrong, being pathetic, crazy, desperate, a doormat! When you are in the will of God………….there are NO RULES!

Standing with you,
Sheila Hollinger


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(~Marriage Revealed Ministries Inc. is committed to helping bring healing and restoration to couples who are struggling in their marriage. We do this through the revelation of Who God is and His heart and design for marriage which never intends abuse in any form. If you suspect abuse in your relationship, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 or visit them online at thehotline.org~