As time goes on, Standers will find themselves facing many things that bring the question “Should I just give up?”  Some things are new, but most are the same ole, same ole.  And those same ole things can lead us to a crossroad where we have to choose to keep going or give in to the TEMPTATION to quit.

 I think the temptation to quit is perfectly NORMAL and one that you should get used to. What is not, and should not be normal and we need to pay attention to is how strong that temptation is, how much we struggle with it, and if that temptation to quit actually gets you to, or very close to quitting. Is it gaining ground on you? Do you feel like you are becoming more and more persuaded to move on? So again, the temptation to move is NORMAL, but how we react to it is what we need to be very mindful and careful of. ESPECIALLY if that temptation comes when a new tempting person starts to pay attention to us!

 If it’s not a person that brings the temptation, there are many other ways we get tempted to quit.

 Moving on, giving up is most often the result of fear, hurt, pride, weariness, frustration, hopelessness, anger, bitterness, and unforgiveness all because of WHAT they are doing and HOW you have reacted to it and taken it very personally. 

 We are not here to tell someone they are not allowed to quit. What we are here is to help you know what it is that you are following and listening to, because the more lost and happy in sin your spouse is, the more you should be running towards them in prayer, not away to move on.

 Here are some questions to ask yourself if your temptations to quit are becoming intense and persuasive.  

  1. What is the motive behind my contemplation to give up? Would this motive make me give up if they had cancer? Or if this was my rebellious child?

 Or is this motive driven by my own needs, hurts, and self? Am I quitting because “I” am putting myself first? 

  1. Do I feel like I need to abandon them because they first abandoned me?
  1. Does what I want to do line up with God’s character, or the enemy, or the views and opinions of the world?
  1. Who wants me to quit? God? My family? My flesh?

Do I have a strong support system helping me in this decision? Others who from personal experience quit, moved on and from what I see, they are having no ill consequences. It’s making me wonder why I can’t have what they have?

 Now, if you come to understand where this is coming from, know you are not alone as many many of us have come to this crossroad, sometimes more than once a day.

 This crossroad needs to recognized for what it is. 

God’s will versus your own.

 There is no 3rd path. That is the lukewarm, feel-good comfortable path. The one most of us had lived on before the storm came to show us just where we had been walking. Thinking we were doing good. The path that was leading us to be spewed from His mouth because we are bitter tasting and not pleasing to Him. Because we chose the path of living for ourselves. Pleasing ourself. Going by feelings, flesh, and desire, never choosing to die to self and be obedient to Him. 

 Do you care? Does knowing that really bother you? You may know it should but you realize you honestly don’t. And that is ok for now. Know God will get you to have that head knowledge as heart knowledge. That is where God is trying to take you as you stand for your marriage!

 As you find yourself at that crossroad….. Be HONEST

My flesh doesn’t want to do this. It’s trying to convince me to disobey. It wants to be happy over all else. Trying to get me to walk away from what You have called me to. It hates the pain that comes from the test, trials, and suffering. Hates the struggle and tug of war. It just wants to be at peace and doesn’t understand that can be obtained while Standing.

 Help me to walk in truth and not give in to my flesh. Open my heart to desire You, above all else.

 The flesh doesn’t understand a single thing about how standing is good and beneficial, it only cares about feeling good, being happy, and rejecting anything that brings suffering and makes your pride rebel. 

 Anyone who caters to their flesh, and allows it to be the MOST important thing, is the one that struggles the most when the temptation comes daily to make them want to move on. They walk by all the things that God says we should not walk by and faith, trust, belief is not even pursued.

 Copy this and read it daily if you find yourself always at the crossroads.

 Standing with you,
Sheila Hollinger



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(~Marriage Revealed Ministries Inc. is committed to helping bring healing and restoration to couples who are struggling in their marriage. We do this through the revelation of Who God is and His heart and design for marriage which never intends abuse in any form. If you suspect abuse in your relationship, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 or visit them online at