All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be competent, equipped for every good work. 2 Tim 3:16-17

Some of our pain comes from not wanting to DO the work required.  That is OUR rebellion. When we know we are not putting our eyes on Jesus, but on the problem, we are not focused on God but on the offense or worry. 

 There were days that I just wanted to remain sad, remain ignorant, and just FEEL sorry for myself. Talk on the phone to anyone that would listen and just deny everything God had told me. I was being REBELLIOUS every time I agreed with the person on the other end when they said something. I knew the answer but I chose to agree and say “Yeah, he is.” When deep down I knew the truth. I knew he was not having his cake and eating it too. I knew I was not a doormat. I knew he was not getting away with anything. I knew that while it appeared he didn’t love me, was getting away without consequences and that he was happy, I knew all of that was not true. I knew this because I had done the work and God had told me. But I was choosing to put that all away for the moment so I could get sympathy, so I could wallow in my hurt and cry LOUD “wahhhh” And boy did I cry loudly to God to get His attention. I just wanted to feel sorry for myself and wanted Him to feel sorry for me too. I wanted to hear how unfair it was. I had traded in doing the work and all the things I had learned for succumbing to a huge pity party bash and I was going to suffer from some major hangover consequences. 

I have stored up your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you. Psalm 119:11

Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path. Psalm 119:105

The consequences were depression, sadness, fear, anxiety, anger, hopelessness, and discouragement. And then all those would give way to bitterness when pride came to the rescue to try and help me out with all those wonderful guests I had picked up from my pity party. Yes, pride would rush in and tell me I didn’t deserve all of this and it would bring in some backup enforcement to help make me feel better. Rebellion, offense,  and mutiny to the rescue. All because I chose to put off doing the work.  

I was tired. Why didn’t my spouse have to do the work? It was hard having to read and understand the Word. Try to figure out if it was God talking to me, myself, or if it was the enemy. It was hard trying to discern from my fears, my worry, my pride, unbelief. And it was VERY hard zipping my lips and standing there not defending myself.

 Why did I have to put in ALL the work and they don’t have to do a thing? Why for once can’t I just go with what I am feeling, and enjoy it for once?

 Oh, but I did and I will tell you, I did not enjoy the hangover or the uninvited guests that came to my rebellious pity party. Because those guests were not easy to get to leave. Offense, bitterness, rebellion, disgust, blame, all parked their big butts on my couch and refused to move. And there they sat till I got on my face and repented to God for choosing to throw this party and stop doing the work.

 I realize that God doesn’t ask us to do the work because He is a strict schoolmaster that loads us up with excess homework. He is a loving Teacher that understands that doing the work is there to help prepare and GUARD us! Guard us against those hangovers of hopelessness, depression, discouragement, and despair. Protect us from those that trespass against us like bitterness, rebellion, and mutiny against God!

 Do the work so that you grow strong in those things that make you wiser and better as a person. Read the bible, worship, pray in thanksgiving. If you are struggling with something, then press into that area and find help for it. Don’t lie and agree with the deception that you don’t understand why they are doing what they are doing. Don’t lie that they are blessed, living with no consequences, and are happy. We know from doing the work, reading the Word, listening to testimonies from lost spouses, reading the many posts, devotions, and hearing Youtube videos what the truth is. And that truth is supposed to set you free from having those rebellious pity parties! Do the work and keep yourself strong. 

Standing with you,
Sheila Hollinger

Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who has no need to be ashamed, rightly handling the word of truth. 2 Tim 2:5

My son, do not forget my teaching, but let your heart keep my commandments, for length of days and years of life and peace they will add to you. Proverbs 3:1-2

Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. Romans 12:2


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(~Marriage Revealed Ministries Inc. is committed to helping bring healing and restoration to couples who are struggling in their marriage. We do this through the revelation of Who God is and His heart and design for marriage which never intends abuse in any form. If you suspect abuse in your relationship, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 or visit them online at