“You are that man!”

Just about every Stander knows the story of King David, Bathsheba, and the Prophet Nathan. 2 Samual 11

King David broke the commandments; “You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife”,  “You shall not commit adultery.” and and “You shall not kill.”  He did all three of these things against Uriah, the husband of Bathsheeba. And after he killed Uriah, he took Bathsheba, who was pregnant with King David’s child, as his wife.

And when the time of mourning was over, David had her brought to his house, and she became his wife and bore him a son. But the thing that David had done was evil in the sight of the LORD. 2 Sam 11:27

To God what David had done was evil. This word EVIL=ra’a’-means-morally and ethically wicked. These are two things that are found in the heart of man.

This is why God looks are the heart of man, it shows them who they truly are and what part of the heart has  moral and ethical corruption.

 For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart. 1 Samuel 16:7

I am pretty sure every Stander confronted their spouse by the outward appearance, by the hurt and pain, the rejection and abandonment they were experiencing. And we all had the same outcome. It did NOTHING to change their hearts. We came at them with truth and they became defensive and offended at our accusations. They had many excuses, rebuttals, and versions of their own truth. The one thing they did not have was God being pleased with their decisions.

How did God confront David’s adultery?

God sends Nathan!

Nathan was a prophet, a member of David’s royal court and one of his closest trusted advisers. On several occasions, God had used Nathan to speak to David and there had never been an issue with  David receiving truth.

So why was this time different? Why did the Prophet, sent by God, to confront King David’s sin, approach it in a different way? 

1 And the LORD sent Nathan to David. He came to him and said to him, “There were two men in a certain city, the one rich and the other poor. 2 The rich man had very many flocks and herds, 3but the poor man had nothing but one little ewe lamb, which he had bought. And he brought it up, and it grew up with him and with his children. It used to eat of his morsel and drink from his cup and lie in his arms, and it was like a daughter to him. 4 Now there came a traveler to the rich man, and he was unwilling to take one of his own flock or herd to prepare for the guest who had come to him, but he took the poor man’s lamb and prepared it for the man who had come to him.” 5 Then David’s anger was greatly kindled against the man, and he said to Nathan, “As the LORD lives, the man who has done this deserves to die, 6 and he shall restore the lamb fourfold, because he did this thing, and because he had no pity.”

7 Nathan said to David, “You are the man! Thus says the LORD,” 2 Sam 12


Why did God approach David in this manner?

Timing and Personalization

David, a man after God’s own heart, had a place within the heart that was ethically and morally corrupted before he ever saw Bathsheba. When we have corrupt places in our heart that are not dealt with through repentance, the door will open to the enemy and that sinful desire will overwhelm and lead us astray. This is evident through David’s restless heart that led him to be where he was not meant to be at twilight.

God had to wait until the timing was perfect for David to be able to SEE and HEAR. We would have sent Nathan to David while he was on the rooftop looking at Bathsheba, or at least before he had Uriah killed. BUT God knew that for David’s heart to have the change, the repentance it needed, David had to go through the sin, experience it to the fullest. What was in the King’s heart allowed him to kill a man to cover up his sins. That could not have been changed unless David felt the weight, guilt, shame of the sin after it was committed by him.

This is why the timing was very important. God is never early, or late in what He does.

For the vision is yet for an appointed time; But at the end it will speak, and it will not lie. Though it tarries, wait for it; Because it will surely come, It will not tarry. Habakkuk 2:3

And He is never wrong with how He chooses to personalize it.

God had to paint a picture for David that first, would not put him in a defensive place right away. Because we don’t see or think or hear clear when our defenses are up when we are trying to deny we were wrong and sinned.

The first thing God did was NOT make it about David. The second thing  he did was not make it about anyone David had hurt. Standers tend to approach their spouses and make it all about how they are hurting them.

Next, God made the story about something that David would be able to understand and relate to.

God knew exactly the right time and that very thing that was needed to make David see, hear, relate………to bring David to repentance that would change his wicked morals and ethics.

The hearing ear, and the seeing eye, the LORD hath made even both of them. Proverbs 20:12

When morals are corrupt, it gives a place for the heart to turn hard and commit sin.

17 So this I say and solemnly testify in [the name of] the Lord [as in His presence], that you must no longer live as the heathen (the Gentiles) do in their perverseness [in the folly, vanity, and emptiness of their souls and the futility] of their minds.

18 Their moral understanding is darkened and their reasoning is beclouded. [They are] alienated (estranged, self-banished) from the life of God [with no share in it; this is] because of the ignorance (the want of knowledge and perception, the willful blindness) that is deep-seated in them, due to their hardness of heart [to the insensitiveness of their moral nature].

19 In their spiritual apathy they have become callous and past feeling and reckless and have abandoned themselves [a prey] to unbridled sensuality, eager and greedy to indulge in every form of impurity [that their depraved desires may suggest and demand].  


For further study, read: Wandering at Twilight

Standing with you,
Sheila Hollinger


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(~Marriage Revealed Ministries Inc. is committed to helping bring healing and restoration to couples who are struggling in their marriage. We do this through the revelation of Who God is and His heart and design for marriage which never intends abuse in any form. If you suspect abuse in your relationship, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 or visit them online at thehotline.org~