One of the reasons that we snoop and look is because we are seeking evidence to prove something. Looking to see if they really are as happy as they say because that would prove something. If they are happy, then we are wrong……………..right?

We have been conditioned and taught that happiness is proof that we are doing right. That if we make the right choices, the right decisions for our lives, then happiness is what we get. If we are miserable, then we made the wrong choice. Because of this belief, we look for that happiness as the evidence we need to back up OUR choice to Stand. Sin makes us HAPPY! We can be so far away from the Lord, walking in the lusts of our flesh, following our own desires, and find great happiness in those moments. Happiness proves nothing about the state of our soul!

When you see a picture of your spouse all smiles and laughter, yes, they are most likely happy at that moment. It’s normal to grab the camera during the happy moments, especially when they have something to prove. “Hey, we are doing right! Look at how happy we are. You can’t tell us we are wrong, SEE the smiles? SEE the happiness? We are fine and you can’t tell us we are living a lie! Here is the proof.” 

You can be happy in your sin, but you can’t have soul peace or joy, as a child of God, your conscience won’t allow it! And that is, my friends, what it all comes down to. When your conscience lets you know you did the right thing by giving you PEACE!

1 John Chapter 3 is proof because John talks about the sons of God and the sons of satan and how it’s the SEED that is in the sons of God that sets us apart. We all know right from wrong. But the sons of God, because of His seed seek to be more like Him, please Him. And even if they can’t stop sinning, they will not be ok with it. They will be miserable because they know, through their conscience they are rebelling against the Lord. 

8The one who practices sin [separating himself from God, and offending Him by acts of disobedience, indifference, or rebellion] is of the devil [and takes his inner character and moral values from him, not God]; for the devil has sinned and violated God’s law from the beginning. The Son of God appeared for this purpose, to destroy the works of the devil.9No one who is born of God [deliberately, knowingly, and habitually] practices sin, because God’s seed [His principle of life, the essence of His righteous character] remains [permanently] in him [who is born again–who is reborn from above–spiritually transformed, renewed, and set apart for His purpose]; and he [who is born again] cannot habitually [live a life characterized by] sin, because he is born of God and longs to please Him. 10By this the children of God and the children of the devil are clearly identified: anyone who does not practice righteousness [who does not seek God’s will in thought, action, and purpose] is not of God, nor is the one who does not [unselfishly] love his [believing] brother. 1 John 3

Vs 19 and 20

19 By this we will know [without any doubt] that we are of the truth, and will assure our heart and quiet our conscience before Him 20whenever our heart convicts us [in guilt]; for God is greater than our heart and He knows all things [nothing is hidden from Him because we are in His hands].

First, let’s get to know this very important word, conscience-suneidésis, and what it means. 

suneidésisjoins moral and spiritual consciousness as part of being created in the divine image. Accordingly, all people have this God-given capacity to know right from wrong because each is a free moral agent. “the soul as distinguishing between what is morally good and bad, prompting to do the former and shun the latter, commending the one, condemning the other; Strongs Concordance.

We need to stop believing that happiness is the most important thing, because when you search the scriptures for finding happiness, the Word doesn’t say much, but has a LOT to say about our conscience and peace because PEACE is very important when it comes to helping a man make choices between good and evil. This is called having a GOOD CONSCIOUS! When you are at peace with what you have decided and feel GOOD about the choices that your moral compass told you to chose, which all comes from the seed of God inside.  

The most IMPORTANT THING is for your non-believing spouse to be SAVED! For your backslidden, lukewarm, or deceived spouse to stop resisting and surrender to the Lord. We must look for proof that they are seeking God, not seeking to be happy.

Happiness is a fleeting emotion. Peace is a state of mind, a covering that you walk and live in. Same with joy! 

We are all looking for true peace. The peace that comes when you have made the RIGHT choices and decisions for your life. Your conscience will tell you when you are wrong, and there will be no peace as much as you try and lie and prove to the world and everyone else how HAPPY you are. Pride will help you subdue your conscience, for a time, but in the end your conscience will win. You can’t run from it. You would have to be in a constant state of working to suppress it. But the moment you let up, it’s right there again. Speaking loud and clear about how you are making the wrong choices. Many turn from their sins because their conscience was too much for them and they just could not live under the constant nagging and pressure it created. 

You will most likely not see the proof of what a person’s conscience is speaking to them in a photo. But if they are spewing anger, venom, blame, unforgiveness towards you without just cause, then that is the proof they are trying to shift the blame off themselves and onto you because their conscience is making them miserable but they are not willing to surrender……..not yet. Pride is an enemy to the Lord because pride will rise up and work hard to stop you from having a clear conscience if it means humbling yourself. Pride doesn’t want to be wrong, it wants to save face. Pride is an enemy to a clear and good conscience!

Here Timothy gives us an example of what is used to help someone that rejects their conscience and through that rejection, shipwrecks their faith because they chose to follow the path of sinful ways. 

19 and having a good conscience; for some [people] have rejected [their moral compass] and have made a shipwreck of their faith. 20Among these are Hymenaeus and Alexander, whom I have handed over to satan, so that they will be disciplined and taught not to blaspheme. I Timothy 1:19-20 Amp

When your spouse finally gives in, it won’t be because of something you said and did. It won’t be because they got tired of being happy, or could not find the happiness they were looking for. It will be because their conscientiousness would not let them live in peace. A child of God cannot live with a good clear conscience when they live in wrong choices, EVEN if they have tons of happy times and fun. 

You have to TRUST in the seed that is planted in the hearts of man when they become born again. Yes, they are totally backslidden and living in rebellion. They will never have the true peace and joy that comes when you make a choice to live according to God’s path for you. 

But the goal of our instruction is love [which springs] from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith. I Timothy 1:5 Amp

Do all men surrender and listen to their conscience? Sadly, no. Shame, pride, condemnation plays a huge part in this. That is why we pray for those things to be removed from our spouses. We pray for them to be courageous and face their shame and condemnation. We pray for them to overcome their pride and humble themselves so they will follow their conscience and do the will of the Father. 

We pray for those that are unbelievers to repent and surrender and give their life to the Lord so they will become born again and walk with a heart that wants to please the Lord.

Standing with you,
Sheila Hollinger


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(~Marriage Revealed Ministries Inc. is committed to helping bring healing and restoration to couples who are struggling in their marriage. We do this through the revelation of Who God is and His heart and design for marriage which never intends abuse in any form. If you suspect abuse in your relationship, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 or visit them online at