Last night I was listening to a sister talk about her love for the Lord and the Holy Spirit shared with me how 14 years ago, when my storm started (I’ve been restored 7 years, so don’t freak out) I would NEVER have been able to listen to someone talk about how they loved God like this, and never relate and appreciate it at the level I do now.
I would have been impatient, like “Hurry up, stop with all this God’s love stuff, just get to the good stuff. Tell me why my husband is doing this, what I need to do, and how do I get him home!!”
I didn’t CARE to know about Him unless it was directly related to getting back what I cared about, which was my husband.
God changed what I cared about.
and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its creator. Colossians 3:10
I didn’t care that I was in need of helping myself, that I was deeply broken and had issues. I only cared that if there was something hindering restoration then I wanted it fixed. But if it didn’t have to do with restoring my marriage, then I didn’t care to be healed. I only wanted to work on what was important. God changed what I cared about!
I knew I loved my husband more than God. I didn’t care that I was wrong. I knew that my husband’s relationship with me was more important to me than his relationship with God. I didn’t care about that either. God changed what I cared about.
I hated being in pain, hated suffering. I knew the Word said that I was supposed to rejoice, look at suffering in a new way, as an opportunity to change my character to reflect Christ more. I didn’t care to change……..unless it meant marriage restoration. I only cared about suffering if it meant a change in my marriage. God could keep the rest. And God changed what I cared about.
In one fell swoop, what I cared for was replaced with me caring more about pleasing Him, loving Him, desiring Him, being close to Him. Knowing what matters to Him and how to find that out. All of a sudden, my relationship with Him was something I cared deeply for when I had never really cared about it all. My relationship with my spouse was still in my heart and mind, but not in the same all-consuming capacity where I had no room to care about anything else. Now I care about both. God changed my heart, therefore, He changed what I cared about.
I know many of your hearts have not yet embraced God’s love for you and that really does impact what you care deeply about.
I also know that many of you feel your spouses don’t care about you at all, which must mean they don’t love you. Remember, the HARD HEART is the cause of this. Not only does it put love into a dormant sleep, but it also puts caring there too.
You may not CARE for God right now. But He CARES for you! What you care about doesn’t change how He feels about you.
Cast all your anxiety on him because He cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7
While you are waiting for your heart to embrace and open to Him, He is not waiting for His heart to do that with you. It was already done. You are His beloved.
We know, brothers and sisters loved by God, that he has chosen you, 1 Thessalonians 1:4
Standing with you,
Sheila Hollinger
