It seems the moment you make up your mind that you are going to stand no matter what, the WHAT comes out of nowhere and the first knee jerk reaction you will have is. “DONE. I’m DONE!”  In those moments gone will be everything that gave you hope and encouraged you. Gone will be everything you were trying to do, that took you forever to learn. All you will know is your feelings and emotions are raging and you can’t remember why you are doing this ridiculous thing called standing for someone that keeps hurting you terribly.
So how do you combat those times? There will be many. And you need a good plan. I’ve got one for you.

I call it my 911, Emergency, or Promise Journal.

Write down everything important that will help you STAND FIRM. I know this sounds too simple, but it saved me many times from being misled by circumstances, feelings, and emotions.
I would be going along my journey and something would come up and all of a sudden, it would completely wipe out my memory of why I was standing and believing God for restoration. Make me forget what God had shared with me. The hurt, the anger, the frustration, and impatience would come and totally blindside me and mislead me. Fear was a huge thing too. It would come and make me feel so distanced from God. I would start to doubt and question everything.
That is when I would open my promise journal. Where I had written down key points to remind myself of what seemed to get easily forgotten when things got tough.
Then the LORD answered me: “Write down this vision and clearly inscribe it on tablets, so that a herald may run with it. Habakkuk 2:2
For everything that was written in the past was written for our instruction, so that through endurance and the encouragement of the Scriptures, we might have hope. Romans 15:4
Here are a few things from my promise journal that are a universal truth I can share with you. They are in no particular order. I also had down personal things God spoke for MY situation. You should write those down, along with all scriptures, dreams, visions, words that God gives you.
Write down EVERYTHING you need to remind yourself of. And read them when you get low. Go through articles and sermons and things that jump out and make sense, write them down as part of your arsenal.
  • This was NOT about my relationship with my spouse, but MORE about God’s relationship with His child FIRST!
  • If he doesn’t repent and turn to God and submit, then he will easily fall back into temptation because his heart desires the things of the world and not what God desires for him.
  • Feelings are NOT truth. How I feel about things has nothing to do with what is really going on.
  • God is the ONLY one that is going to be honest and real with me because He knows the outcome! He knows the heart and motives. He knows EVERYTHING. Not my husband, not my family. God has seen the end result and I have to listen and hold onto that above my opinion and feelings.
  • It does NOT matter what my husband feels right now!!! ONLY what God has shown me about the situation and WILL COME later. This is my life for the moment, the season, but NOT FOREVER. God’s promise WILL COME, He won’t lie to me. He is faithful and trustworthy.
  • God wants me to learn how to look to Him for security. To help me learn how to trust Him and need Him. To depend on Him for everything. He wants me to desire Him above the desire for my marriage. But He doesn’t want to take my marriage away. What is important to me, is also important to Him.
  • This is God’s battle. He pulled me into this, I am not pulling God or trying to convince Him to help me. This is His plan, His strategy, His desire. I have to bend and yield to Him. NOT the other way around. God is not going to yield to me because of how much this hurts. No matter what happens, it’s not going to change God’s mind. It’s made up, no matter how painful. BUT God won’t abandon me, He will help me endure, help me handle the pain.
  • When he gets mean or angry it’s not at me but at himself because he is being forced to face himself. The anger is rebellion and a choice to deflect blame onto me so he is free to keep sinning. The angrier the better. It means he is really feeling the guilt and pressure. Also, when he acts too kind and loving, that is also his guilt trying to help him feel better about his choices so he can let himself off the hook and keep making wrong choices.
  • I need to shut my mouth and stop confronting him, OR using silent treatment as a way of making a statement. I need to just let God have total acces