God, Don’t You Want Me to Be Happy Again?

This morning, I got very emotional as I was praying for Standers.

My heart was overwhelmed with hurt and pain as I cried out to the Lord for the loneliness. For the Stander that is missing that extremely important piece in their life. That other half when it’s missing can’t be ignored.

I wanted my friends to be happy again. To have love again. To feel secure again. To have the tears of pain turn to tears of joy. For the suffering and heartache to end. Some of my friends who I love so much have been enduring this storm for many many years and I found myself asking, “When God?? When???? Oh please make it stop.”

As my emotions started to get out of control, I felt a very old familiar warning creep in. This is what happened to me during my stand. I would be overcome with the pain, hurt, unfairness and my emotions would send me to my bed where I would flop face down and just cry it out.

God would always let me have my time. He never ever made me feel bad about that.

BUT
BUT
BUT

He always warned me. He always stopped me. He was there with a firm hand to bring me out of that place before I prayed.

He always showed me that emotions were not truth and reflection of what was really honestly going on.

They were just my reaction to how I was feeling, or what I was believing was going on. And my emotions would be there for things I wanted to see come to pass, and not waiting patiently, but wanting it NOW. Emotions would distract me from praying for the core heart issues of my lost spouse and put my pain and hurt above his real needs.

He reminded me that emotions can want what’s best for OUR relationship with our spouse, but not God’s relationship with our spouse. Emotions will put ourselves first most often.

And that’s where I went today. I wanted what was best for my dear friends. I wanted them to have that happy marriage at that moment, more than I wanted their spouses to have that reconciled relationship with Jesus.

How long will that happy marriage last if a lost spouse comes home still not reconciled to Jesus? If they come home wanting that light in their spouse to be put under a shade because it’s condemning them and they want to remain in the dark enjoying the lusts of the flesh?

Not before it’s time!!!

That is where emotions get us in so much trouble.

Emotions say, “I don’t care if they are not ready. I AM READY NOW. I will cross those bridges when I come to them, but I can’t stand another dinner alone. I can’t stand another holiday sending my kids away. I can’t stand another day single.”

That is the power of emotions. In our impatience we declare “We can’t stand” ….but God knows the truth. God knows that if we really knew what we can’t stand it would shut our emotions up really quick.

Can you stand entering heaven for eternity and coming to realize your spouse didn’t make it? That is the truth we won’t be able to stand seeing in the end, that we didn’t care about  their love for their Father, MORE than we cared about their love for us.

That is why God is in charge of time and NOT us. If God went by His emotions or ours, then souls would be lost. If He let the emotional pain and weariness of the situation alter the main goal, souls would be lost.

 Thank God He doesn’t run His kingdom on emotions. He doesn’t go left or right from His determined plan.

All Standers need to keep this Scripture close……

The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance. 2 Peter 3:9 ESV

He wants BOTH OF YOU to be your fullest potential in the kingdom of God. Both of you knowing Him, knowing His love, His acceptance, His adoption. Both of you making it through the narrow gate. He wants both of your hearts, minds, and souls loving Him, and knowing His love.

Yes, He catches your tears. He hurts with us. He is not immune to our pain. Jesus wept with Lazarus’s family. He wept with them!!! Even knowing the resurrection was coming He entered into their pain with them. He enters into your pain with you, but He won’t sacrifice their salvation for your peace and end to suffering.

We must learn to talk to our emotions and remind them there is something way bigger at stake and much more important than what we are feeling.

Have your moment to cry it out with Jesus. Then dry your tears, get a grip on your emotions and get back to the real truth of the situation.

 Standing with you,
Sheila Hollinger