The storm is HERE, it’s happening and there is NOTHING you can do to stop it.      You may be a bit upset with the ONE that promised to make all things work out for your good. Because right now, all things good seem to be working out for your spouse while YOU are being violently torn to pieces in every way. They are happy, prospering, being “blessed.” And you are being stripped and broken down which makes you wonder “What did I do to deserve this?”

You are always righteous, Lord, when I bring a case before you. Yet I would speak with you about your justice: Why does the way of the wicked prosper? Why do all the faithless live at ease? You have planted them, and they have taken root; they grow and bear fruit. You are always on their lips but far from their hearts. Yet you know me, Lord; you see me and test my thoughts about you. Jeremiah 12:1-3

To be honest and openly admit that you are angry at Him is not something you are comfortable with, you may not even be aware of just what you’re offended at, you just know…..you want to be left alone in your pain.
 
So you isolate and turn away.
 
You may have hunkered down and been living in isolation, despair, fear, and hopelessness. Barely functioning and going through the motions as one by one, things are taken. Left and right, you are being humiliated and your character assassinated. You may have had to drastically downsize. Let go of your home and watch the other person take your place. They enjoy your place at the table with your inlaws. You are forgotten, replaced. You have to share your children now too. They come home and tell you how amazing and great your spouses new ‘friend’ is. How much fun they are having. The pain is unbearable. You constantly fight yourself from wanting to scream out the truth. To lash out at how much everyone is loving and accepting this new relationship, this new counterfeit. You may even feel like God is accepting it and blessing it.
The messages you hear are upsetting: Zip your lips, die to self, God is wanting to change you. Your spouse was an Idol. This is not about you. ……….ALL of these messages anger you and make your blood boil. 
“What about me? Why am I not important? Why has He forsaken me?”
O LORD, how long will you forget me? Forever? How long will you look the other way? Psalm 13:1 NLT
Light peeks through, and you will sneak a peek at the storm, see it’s not as violent and scary as it first seemed. Enough to open the shades and let some light in. Enough to let the light shine and smile again, a little. Just a little bit. You are not ready for the full joy yet, but again, that’s OK, because this storm was NO JOKE, and you are just not ready yet to be happy.
 
Then one day, you wake up. And you are TIRED of being sad. Tired of being this depressed person living in despair and pain. You want YOU back. You look to the window and see that little bit of light. But you are torn. You are a bit upset over the light. You may feel it let you down. It hurt and caused you pain, all for what? Because you made an idol within your marriage? Or you were lukewarm and not on fire for Him?
 
But you still want the joy. To be happy again. You know to have that, you are going to have to forgive Him for allowing your world to be torn apart. You are going to have to let go of the anger and hurt.
 
Jesus is here, asking you to let Him LOVE YOU. He has a reason for this. He knows you are hurt because He didn’t stop it. He knows you don’t trust Him. Ok, you don’t trust Him, He is not going away….. Instead, He keeps waiting.
 You tell my wanderings: You put my tears into Your bottle: are they not in Your book? Psalm 56:8
 
You are HIS and He wants to love on you. Have an amazing relationship with you. But you are going to have to let go of your hurt and feelings of betrayal. Obviously Jesus has done nothing wrong, but we can still perceive offense. Still take it personally to the point where we believe He has harmed us. The best way to overcome it is the power of forgiveness.
Bear with each other and forgive any complaint you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. Colossians 3:13 
 The Word says, that we are to forgive any matter of offense, grievance or complaint we have and are holding against someone.
Forgive HIM for not stopping the storm.
Forgive Him for letting things you loved be ripped away from you so violently.
Forgive Him for asking you to enter suffering.
Forgive Him for not answering your prayers and allowing everything you prayed against to happen.
Forgive Him for asking you to zip your lips, endure the suffering, be a doormat, turn the other cheek, endure the humiliation and do nothing but TRUST HIM.
 
Forgive HIM and let go of the offense. BE FREE. 
 
FREE to worship, free to love and be loved. Free to walk in joy, peace, HOPE. Fellowship. Free to EXPERIENCE ALL JESUS IS and be restored to HIM. Beloved, let yourself be healed by your Savior.
 
LET HIM LOVE YOU.❤️❤️❤️
 
For those of you who are close, but need a bit more help….
Jesus, I know I need to let this anger go. I know it’s not healthy and not right. I want to let You in, I’m not able to right now. Please help me get to that place where I release the anger and offense and allow You full access to my heart. In Your name, I pray…Amen
Standing with you,
Sheila Hollinger