The longer you Stand, the more seasons you will grow through….yes, GROW through. Seasons are times of change and transition. 

Daniel 2:21 “And he changeth the times and the seasons: he removeth kings, and setteth up kings: he giveth wisdom unto the wise, and knowledge to them that know understanding:”

This study is going to focus on Psalm 37 and what it means to “be still before the Lord, and wait patiently for Him”

Psalm 37:7  Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him;

What are we to be still from?

Do not fret over those who do evil; do not envy those who do wrong. Psalm 37:1

In verse 1, we are told not to “charah” – fret/worry, over those who are being bad, or doing evil. “Charah” means,  “to burn or be kindled with anger” – likened to a burning sensation in your throat, from rage, because of pain.

I know this fretting very well. It was the kind that made me have a knee-jerk, “I’m done” reaction. This kind of fretting and worry is the kind that will interfere with, and interrupt your life, keep you from living, and place you in a stronghold of torment. While His Word tells us not to fret, it isn’t so clear as to how we should go about doing this, and why.

Verse 2 says, “For like grass, they soon fade away. Like spring flowers, they soon wither.”

This verse teaches us that our spouses also go through seasons. Sometimes we misread the seasons they go through, seeing one coming to an end and thinking it’s going to be the beginning of the restoration season…..but in fact, it turns out to be a season of more rebellion for them, and more standing for you. At the beginning of our stands, we tend to want to really focus on their seasons, because we are looking for encouragement and hope of restoration. This focus on them prevents us from growing through our own season and transitioning into the next. When we focus on ourselves, God has plenty of things for us to learn.

Verse 3. Trust in the LORD, 
 and do good;
 dwell in the land and 
befriend/cultivate faithfulness.

I have done multiple teachings on trusting God, so we are going to skip to, DO GOOD. This word “good” means, BE MORAL – conforming to standards of what is right, or just, in behavior; being virtuous, righteous. We often hear, “work on yourself.” Well, here it is Standers. Doing good/being moral means, learning the difference between right and wrong behaviors, what is pleasing to God and what isn’t, and moving from conforming to the standard of the world, to the Standard of the Kingdom of God. God wants us holy, righteous and walking in the knowledge of our identity.

DWELL IN THE LAND – it means “embrace”. Don’t just survive and exist… instead, take life seriously and be committed. Live with integrity and in victory, not living in ‘survival’ and ‘victim’ mode. You are not to use what your spouse is doing, as an excuse to live barely surviving and functioning. You are not to continue to live your life hiding behind being separated, divorced, or going through a divorce, as the reason to give up on your own life and relationship with God.

 “DWELL” means, fully embracing and making the best of what season you are in. This really spoke to me, because I lived for a very long time, as a guest at a ‘standing hotel’ – like a hostage, being kept against my will.  I have shared how I would not even buy a tablecloth, because “this was not my life”; I was afraid of what message I would send to God, if I actually tried to dwell in and embrace this part of my life. God wants you to look around and LIVE, without being robbed, because of the choices of your lost spouse.

This leads to the next part, BEFRIEND/CULTIVATE FAITHFULNESS. You don’t just determine you are going to embrace and dwell and then expect it to happen. No, once you make up your mind that this is what it is; that you are going to LIVE and live WELL, then you have to “TEND” to your life. You have to weed out the bad things, water the good, nourish and feed yourself the Word of God and do what it takes to be faithful to God. Defend against and deny anything that comes to tempt you to be unfaithful and disobedient, to what  God has asked of you.

Reconnect with things you love that bring you joy. If you are afraid of what message that will bring to  God, well then THIS is an article you must read!

 But how is dwelling and cultivating supposed to help you cope with the hurt and anger?

As I look at this as a whole, what I see comes down to what God says next.

4 Delight yourself in the LORD, and He will give you the desires of your heart. 
5 Commit your way to the LORD; trust in Him, and He will act.
6 He will bring forth your righteousness as the light, and your justice as the noonday.
7 Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for Him; fret not yourself over the one who prospers in his way, over the man who carries out evil devices
8 Refrain from anger and abandon wrath; do not fret—it can only bring harm.

We are to make the choice each day, to delight, commit and trust in Him. We also need to be still, not fret, and refrain from anger. What are we doing if we are not making good choices, but letting our choices be made for us, by someone else who is putting themselves first? Not only are we laying down our choices that God has ASKED us to make, but we are laying them down and blaming it on our spouse. “I can’t trust, be still, commit, delight myself in You God. Do you SEE what my spouse is doing??” 

God is saying that He has asked you to work on being moral, to embrace life and take good care of yourself; to make every effort to tend to and be faithful to these directions, and if you do…………………..HE will take care of HIS PART. And His part is,

He will ACT (verse 5) He will vindicate you in broad daylight, and publicly defend your just cause(verse 6 NET Bible).

When I look back to my own stand, I will tell you I did come to this place, but it was not till almost the end of my stand. I allowed myself to be a victim, where I blamed my spouse for every single thing that I did. Looking back now, I used it all as an excuse to barely live.  When I got fed up and tired of this, I made the choice to take back my life.  With God’s help, I started to take integrity seriously and stopped blaming what was happening to ‘me’, as the reason I could somehow be unreliable, irresponsible, inconsistent, and just plain broken, without even caring that I was.  I wanted to get back to being that person that was on time, trustworthy, responsible, and who got things done.

It really is about learning to be the “best you”, tending to yourself, and listening to God, as He works out those things in you that do not reflect His character and nature. There is much to be done, and oftentimes we think, “If I don’t fix my broken spouse who will?” God will! And He is asking you to LET HIM HAVE IT.

Standing with you,
Sheila Hollinger

  • We are passionate about helping Standers as they journey through this very difficult time in their life. Will you PARTER with us?
  • Need a 1-1 mentoring with Sheila?
  • Want to be a part of our FREE ZOOM Community Meetings? Send an email requesting to be added to the zoom notification list. Email: