“My spouse SWEARS God told them they can do what they are doing!”

We know God won’t go against His Word, but guess what………it’s IN His Word, that WHEN we approach God, ask Him something AND He says “NO”, but our hearts want it, our hearts WANT the evil we greedily desire and lust for, God MAY THEN say “YES” and answer according to our stumbling block so it can teach us a lesson. We know that God will not contradict His Word, and He won’t go against His nature, BUT He will give us what we want to teach us a lesson that in the end will purify and save our souls!

We see this with Balaam and the donkey in Numbers 22. God was very clear with him that the people were blessed and he was NOT to curse them. Balaam said to them, “There is no amount of money in the world…… “I could not do anything, either small or great, contrary to the command of the LORD my God.” BUT……..and that is where it all went wrong.

Balaam should have stopped right there. Turned those men away. But he was tempted and took that temptation and decided, “I am going to seek God once more on this, even though I heard him very clearly the first time. I heard Him say NO, and God gave a reason why. But darn, that money! Darn that temptation is so strong, surly God would hear my reasons as to why to let me go, I will be a RICH man. Sure God wants me happy and blessed and rich!! I am going to go back and ask Him again.” You can see that I am paraphrasing here, but you see what our spouses do?

“God I know it’s wrong, but this new person is offering me so much more. I won’t have to struggle, be unhappy anymore. Look at this spouse I have, I could have SO much better. I know you said NO, but could you please reconsider?”

God came to Balaam in the night and told him, ““If the men have come to call you, get up and go with them, but you shall still do only what I tell you.” Vs 20. But then in Vs 22, God was FURIOUS that he listened and was going with the men. Wait…….what?

“God, you TOLD me it was ok to go, and now you are furious with me for listening to you?”

No, God was furious because He told Balaam this was a blessed people. He was furious that Balaam had the nerve to get tempted by the wrong thing. He didn’t get tempted because of good reasons, but greed for wealth. Greed for selfishness.

God will answer people ACCORDING to their stumbling blocks to teach them a lesson.

I have seen people ask God if it’s ok to do something that is totally against Who He is and doesn’t reflect Him at all. Because their heart wants it badly enough, they either hear Him say yes, OR they think they hear Him. They compromise, make excuses, reason away God’s real nature and character because what they gain from their choice benefitted their flesh too much. It made them rich, happy, gave them recognition, and further advanced them in their career. I have seen people take jobs, move, change careers, buy things that they wanted, only to have that very thing be the thing that opened the door to the enemy which was the downfall of their marriage.

How many of you had some major life change right before the storm hit? Did your spouse or you make a decision and you now look back and see that “thing” was not a reflection of Him and He may have even told you NO?

We did. A few things happened to us and just snowballed. We got more and more into the world and away from God’s true character and nature. Jobs, fun, people we chose to become friends with as we pulled further away from the church and became more lukewarm. Right before the storm hit, we were SO happy and comfortable in our flesh, that we were perfect for the enemy who roams about like a lion, seeking who to kill, steal, destroy from. Anyone who is pleasing the flesh and not even trying to deny it is PRIME RIB to a hungry lion!

Here is another bit of proof that God will answer according to someone’s stumbling block, if they have an idol set up in their hearts where they want sin more than God, He will ANSWER them like He answered Balaam and tell them “Go ahead.”

Ezekiel 14:4-5 Tell them, ‘This is what the Sovereign LORD says: The people of Israel have set up idols in their hearts and fallen into sin, and then they go to a prophet asking for a message. So I, the LORD, will give them the kind of answer their great idolatry deserves. I will do this to capture the minds and hearts of all my people who have turned from me to worship their detestable idols.’

So, next time your spouse says “God told me to divorce.” Or “God told me …….” They just may be right because God answered them according to their stumbling block that was turning the hearts and minds away from Him. God did not answer them according to what was on God’s heart for them, but to CAPTURE their hearts and teach them a lesson.

We have done it to our own children, right? Allowing them to do something we have told them NO to a million times, but we relent because we know the ONLY way they are going to understand why we are saying no, is for them to experience the suffering that comes from getting what they want.

“Go ahead, eat ALL that candy. I told you it’s going to make you sick.” or “Go ahead stay up way past your bedtime, but you are going to be miserable tomorrow when it’s time to get up.”

Unless you experience firsthand certain things, you just don’t have the personal experience that is required to resist temptations the next time they come.

I’m sure the next time someone came to Balaam to tempt Him to go against God’s direction, he straight up told them “get behind me satan!”

I know my husband is on guard and can see the traps, pits, snares, bait now a mile away. He shares with me when he sees the potential of something and says “Nope, not going down that path.” Recently I had to trust this. That the lessons he learned will prevent him from going down that path because temptations are always going to be there. The enemy doesn’t give up, ever!

God is set apart from the world, and we need to live according to this character and nature and not even ask Him if it’s ok to live according to the world’s nature. WHY are they asking God if they can leave their marriage? THAT is the question that needs to be addressed. Not what God said about it, but why did they even ask that in the first place. And THAT is the question that God is working on getting to the bottom of. The fact that your spouse even considered asking, praying, seeking a way out.

He is doing that in some of Stander’s hearts too. Why are they asking Him if they can stop praying, move on, find someone else? Why are they asking God to take the love away? Asking God if they can be totally released and be done so they can be happy again? Is this a heart that is self-centered and wanting to please Him or their flesh?

Standing with you,
Sheila Hollinger



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(~Marriage Revealed Ministries Inc. is committed to helping bring healing and restoration to couples who are struggling in their marriage. We do this through the revelation of Who God is and His heart and design for marriage which never intends abuse in any form. If you suspect abuse in your relationship, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 or visit them online at thehotline.org~