Today I faced a giant and conquered. As I sat here and contemplated this giant, I realized that it really wasn’t a giant at all. But how did I come to believe it was?
This “giant”, was something that needed to be done. I had no clue how to do it. It made me feel ignorant, inadequate, and incapable of getting it done. So I looked to outside help instead of waiting for God to direct my steps. By doing this, I found help, the wrong help. But my stubbornness didn’t stop me from searching for help again and again. Making the same mistake over and over. This only grew the giant until it towered over me, laughing at me that it was getting the best of me.
I can’t tell you how much this giant of a burden plagued me. Kept me awake at night because I felt so helpless because of how clueless I was to do this myself. This led to some anger towards God on my part. “If YOU are asking this of me, then how come YOU are not providing the help I need? The direction? The way? I am failing over and over in my efforts and it’s only making me more discouraged and upset.”
This kind of anger felt so justified at the moment, but it only encouraged the giant to grow bigger, and laugh stronger, especially at the fact that it now was creating anger in me toward God.
I looked at my giant, at every single angel. Found so many ways to tackle it, but the stone never hit the mark. The more I tried, the more defeated I became.
Today, the stone hit the mark and the giant fell.
I look back and see that I had something in me that was a giant creator. Now let me explain. What had to be done was real, but how I was facing it, how I was experiencing it, what I was believing about this task is what became a giant. And that giant was intimidating, terrifying, felt over my head in knowledge and understanding. My fear was the giant, NOT THE TASK.
When you are called into Standing for your spouse’s healing and restored relationship to God and marriage, you can face this fear giant. You can be intimidated, bullied, harassed, laughed at, and mocked. When you look at what you are doing, what you are facing, what you are being asked to die to self over and over about, a fear of “Can I do this? Am I capable of handling this for however long it takes” can rise up.
Many Standers hear that I stood for 7 years and say “I could never do that.” Or they hear that God asked me to not ask my husband to leave our home while he was having an affair, and say “I could never do that.”
A choice to believe the lie “I could never do that,” is the place where giants are born!
The place where we face our worst fears and determine, “You can’t. You won’t. It’s not fair and I just will NOT.” There were many reasons we create giants. We don’t want to go through the pain of waiting, the pain of enduring the suffering because we don’t know how, we don’t feel it’s fair, or we don’t feel it’s worth it.
Sometimes giants are created not because of our lack of want, but lack of worth, confidence. Or lack of understanding, faith, or trust in God.
Do you have a giant? Is there a circumstance in your Stand that has grown to towering proportions and caused you to believe it’s not obtainable or defeatable?
- Do you believe what you have done is unforgivable and that giant is there to remind you daily this is your fault?
- Do you believe what your spouse has done has broken your trust, and you could never regain it? That the damage is beyond repair?
- Do you believe your spouse loves the other person, their new life, has created ties with them that can’t be broken or let go of?
- Do you believe the other person is everything your spouse has always wanted, and no way could you ever be what your spouse wants?
Giants are liars. They are bullies. They are intimidators. They are as big as your fears allow, but they are NOT IMPOSSIBLES! The first step to defeating them is realizing what they are, a LIE. And then learning the truth, and making the choice to stand firm on the truth, believe in it.
Fix what created the giant and the stone will hit the mark.
Fix the fear, the jealousy, the unworthiness, the root of rejection, the insecurities, the lack of trust in God, the unbelief. The impatience, lack of faith, trying to control.
And that GIANT WILL FALL!
All your answers are in the Word. All the solutions to your giant creator will be overcome by YOUR CREATOR!
say to those with fearful hearts, “Be strong, do not fear; your God will come, he will come with vengeance; with divine retribution he will come to save you.” Isaiah 35:4
May the truth of the Word of God set you free!
Standing with you,