Running the Race for Marriage Restoration

During my seven-year Stand, each time I had a false start (where you or your spouse jump the gun and believe you are in the restoration process before God gives the signal) I learned something very valuable. Well, I learned a lot of valuable lessons, but there is one particular lesson today I want to share.

WHAT RACE DOES GOD WANT YOU RUNNING?

With each false start, it revealed where my true heart, mind, intentions, motives were. When I jumped the gun and started to run that race towards my finish line of marriage restoration, and my spouse was running in agreement with me, I left God back at the starting line. I stopped going to Him in desperation to save my marriage and joyfully settled back into married life trying to believe that it was over and things would go back to normal.

I love what Hebrews 4 says in the Classic Amplified Version. It talks about the promise of entering His rest and how we should have fear of coming up short. And the reason why we come up short is because we are deceiving ourselves. Time and again I was going to God to petition Him to give me what I wanted. But I was never true in my heart motives where I was leaning my entire personality on Him in total trust BECAUSE I loved Him. I had no real love for Him, just loved what He could do for me. I did not really KNOW Him. 

Each false start showed me that I was running my own race, and God was trying to get me to START running His. The race leads to something more than just a restored marriage. And when you finally come to understand that, the race will begin because God has given the signal. Finally, your heart will come to understand what is most important and you will WANT not only your spouse at that finish line but God more! This is what God wants for you. Your heart to want Him in your life in more than just an “I need Your help” relationship. He wants you to recognize with your whole entire personality Who He is and come to realize you can’t live without Him.

THIS TAKES TIME!

And that is what finally happened to me. But I could not put myself into God’s race. That had to come through my heart breaking over and over. Each time a false start happens, each time you venture off and quit and fail at that new relationship, each time you confront your spouse and try to get them to listen to you, each time you set yourself up for heartbreak, you get one step closer to full surrender. This is why God is patient with not only us but our lost spouses.

Some Standers may think they are true believers but they are very much in the dark when it comes to just how much of themselves are fully surrendered in the flesh and living for Christ. I discovered this time and again when we played “restoration” and I was able to easily put God back to where He was in my life. I restored Him to His position in my life where I only went to Him when I needed His help with something. 

I have seen many Standers come to this place in their lifetime and again, a crossroads where they are being asked to die a bit more to themselves. And many give up at that point. Choosing to take the road that is easier on their flesh where they get to be a Christian believer on their terms, their rules, according to their comfort. They want to remove all suffering from their life and just live in peace. The flesh hates to suffer. Our pride will do everything in its power to lie to us and tell us that we can become transformed into His image without having to die to ourselves. That we can make ourselves transform in other ways. Jesus explains clearly what it means to come after Him. 

23 And He said to all, If any person wills to come after Me, let him deny himself [disown himself, forget, lose sight of himself and his own interests, refuse and give up himself] and take up his cross daily and follow Me [cleave steadfastly to Me, conform wholly to My example in living and, if need be, in dying also]. Luke 9:23 AMPC

This is serious stuff here, and none of us want to do this. No one wants to live a life where they are always denying themselves what they want. In fact, the world is all about empowering yourself and putting yourself first. What we fail to understand, is when you lower yourself, CHRIST exalts you! When you pick up your cross and deny yourself, Jesus gives you your heart’s desires. When you chose humility over pride. He blesses you for your faith, your trust, your choices. When you do the right thing, God will not let that go unrewarded. And the best thing is the rewards are not even what we WANT, they are what we NEED. A peace that comes and surpasses all understanding as we ENTER HIS REST! And that Standers is the race that God is trying to get us to the starting line to run.

So, while we come to the line for “marriage restoration” and do as we are told to get our marriages restored. God is working in us to get us to a new race. One that is for our own personal repentance and salvation. 

Keep going. Don’t quit. Don’t lose sight of where you put your hope and trust when you become confused and don’t know what God wants you to do. Stop asking for signs if God is going to restore your marriage and if you are on the right path. JUST keep going. Live your life with HIM as a priority. Learning how to spend quality time with Him as you work through all that needs to be worked through. 

Run your best in the race of faith, and win eternal life for yourself; for it was to this life that God called you when you firmly professed your faith before many witnesses.1 Timothy 6:12 Good News Translation

Standing with you,
Sheila Hollinger