What are they? Are they biblical?
SOME that teach the concept of a soul ties would define it as the bonding or mingling of spirits between two or more people that happens during sex, possibly including the other people the person you’re intimate with has been intimate with. In this study, I want to bring attention to the error of this teaching, and bring to light what a soul tie is, how it’s formed, and how it’s broken.
While the idea of a soul tie is not unbiblical, it is important we understand and USE the term in light of what Scripture teaches. This idea is typically pulled from Scriptures like 1 Samuel 18:1, Genesis 44:30, 1 Corinthians 6:16, Mark 10:7-8. Let’s take a look and see what definitions are brought to us by Scripture.
In 1 Samuel 18 and Genesis 44:30 the word “knit” is used to describe strong bonds.
1 Sam 18:1-3 – Now when he had finished speaking to Saul, the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul. Saul took him that day, and would not let him go home to his father’s house anymore. Then Jonathan and David made a covenant, because he loved him as his own soul.
Genesis 44: 30 – Now therefore, when I come to your servant my father, and the lad is not with us, since his life is bound up in the lad’s life.
The words “knit” and “bound” here are the same Hebrew word, “qashar” , which literally means to tie or bind. The words “soul” and “life” are also the same Hebrew word, “nephesh”, which in this context means a person’s heart, passion, or mind. In other words, iIt is the seat or our emotions. These words together are used to describe a strong bond between a friend or family member – a relationship so deep it would leave a huge void if it were taken, or strong bonds formed through shared commonalities or experiences – like many the bonds we have here. For example, I feel my soul is knit together with many of these beautiful women here <3. So in this regards, a “soul tie” would simply mean that strong, unique bond between us and those very dear to our heart, though it can also take a dark turn. You also see soul ties formed in co-dependent and abusive relationships. Interestingly enough, the word “qushar” (bound) can have implications of conspiring when used in a negative connotation. This type of soul tie IS NOT a healthy one, it can become a stronghold, but through godly repentance, it is broken. So, a soul tie in this context does not actually have anything to do with our SPIRITS.
Our soul is our emotional-self. This is what’s responsible for the deep bonds we form, as well as what often gets us into trouble.
Now let’s look at the other two verses mentioned above and how “soul tie” is often used in another way:
Mark 10: 7-8 – For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh, so then they are no longer two, but one flesh.
1 Cor 6:16 – Or do you not know that he who is joined to a harlot is one body with her? For “the two,” He says, “shall become one flesh.”
The words “joined” in these two verses are actually not the same Greek word – but they DO mean the same things. Both the Greek words “proskollaō” and “kollaō” mean to physically join or cleave. In both verses the Greek word for “one” is “mia”. This literally means “one”. “Flesh” and “body” are also the same, “sarx”, and mean the physical body or nature of the physical body.
As you can see by the language, these verses describe the very real bond that happens during sex on a physical, psychological, and highly emotional level. The verses are very clear that this bond is so strong that it is only meant for marriage.
Oxytocin, the same hormone that bonds a child and mother, is the same hormone released during sex. It is a very powerful bonding hormone. Sex is also the only bonding that produces children, which is indisputably produced from two becoming one in multiple ways! Two DNA strands bonding form a whole new human being. Also, in two people that are intimate without any type of contraceptive barrier or method, a man’s DNA can be found in women’s brain and body years after intimacy. This was discovered in the last few years. The Bible knew something man only recently discovered as it does with many things. So though the physical and emotional bond is DEEP this also cannot be described as a tie that binds our souls or spirits together. The language of these verses simply does not permit it.
The ONLY place where we could conceive our spirits are actually “tied” together is in a God-ordained marriage. We see this in Malachi 2:15 where it says – Did he not make them one, with a portion of the Spirit in their union? And what was the one God seeking? Godly offspring. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and let none of you be faithless to the wife of your youth.
Even in this instance, it is the Spirit of God that binds our spirits together, not a literal mingling of our two spirits. If we are in Christ our spirit belongs to Him and Him alone as is evident in 1 Cor 6:17 – But he who is joined to the Lord becomes one spirit with him.
Awesomely, THIS IS A REFLECTION OF HOW WE ARE BOUND TO CHRIST. The same Spirit that binds us to Him in our salvation is the same Spirit that is responsible for binding us together in our marriages! This idea is also supported by Ephesians 5. How much more can we pray with confidence knowing this!?
In conclusion, soul ties can be both beautiful and ugly. While they have nothing to do with our SPIRITS, they are rooted in our deep, emotional-self. They can be a blessing when formed in God-honoring friendships and relationships, or a curse when formed in rebellion and selfishness. When praying for bondage to be broken in an ungodly soul tie, keep these verses in mind –
1 John 1:9 – If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
John 16:33 – I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”
We pray for their salvation, for their deliverance, and for their repentance. Christ is stronger and bigger and He is able to deliver from ANY kind of bondage. Take heart, when He delivers, He makes us new.
2 Corinthians 5:17 – 17 Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.