Help with Bitterness

What happens if you become bitter at your spouse because you feel they are getting away with it? If you look at them and see their life, their happiness, their material things, even their walk with God and it leaves a vile taste in your mouth because they “got away with it.”?

Your spouse may be suffering from the same exact bitterness. Mine did. He was so bitter towards me, towards God, women, life. His WHOLE personality, outlook, changed. Suddenly he was someone I didn’t know anymore because the root of bitterness took hold and the fruit came.

Look after each other so that none of you fails to receive the grace of God. Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you, corrupting many. Hebrews 12:15

God understands that we can become very hurt and angry when we turn our hearts over to what we think, feel, believe. But when we are given truth, and still deny to be obedient to that truth, there is a seed we sow and we will reap from that disobedience.  When we sow to the flesh, we reap through the flesh. And when we sow with self, and not mercy, we can reap bitterness from our lack of caring over someone else that is perishing and may be lost to God for eternity. 

Bitterness RUINS YOU

The root mia- (“tainted at the source”) shows everything passing through it also becomes stained (“reconstituted,” polluted).

[3392 (miaínō) literally means “to dye, stain with color.” Figuratively, it refers to rendering something morally (spiritually) defiled.]

Refrain from anger and abandon wrath; do not fret—it can only bring harm. Psalm 37:8

How do we become bitter?

Bitterness comes when we make the choice to not extend the grace that was extended to us. When we chose to let the hurt and pain, the betrayal, the ACT that was done disqualify them from grace. When we make the choice that what they have done is far too great against us.

Why do we do this?

Partly because we want our pain to count for something. We don’t understand that extending grace doesn’t mean that what was done is insignificant and God doesn’t care. Of course He cares. He cares about every single hair on our heads and He weeps with us over the harm and pain caused to us. But He STILL expects us to extend grace otherwise the root of bitterness plants itself in our souls and corrupts us and ruins us. Separates us from Him.

As God’s fellow workers, then, we urge you not to receive God’s grace in vain. 2 Corinthians 6:1

What is this GRACE that God wants you to extend?

Cognate: 5485 xáris (“favor, disposed to, inclined, favorable towards, leaning towards to share benefit”) – properly, grace. 5485 (xáris) is preeminently used of the Lord’s favor – freely extended to give Himself away to people (because He is “always leaning toward them”).

5485 /xáris (“grace”) answers directly to the Hebrew (OT) term 2580 /Kaná (“grace, extension-toward”). Both refer to God freely extending Himself (His favor, grace), reaching (inclining) to people because He is disposed to bless (be near) them.

[5485 (xáris) is sometimes rendered “thanks” but the core-idea is “favor, grace” (“extension towards”).]

It is selfish of us to not extend the grace that God has extended to us. Selfish to NOT SHARE Him with the person that we are supposed to love because…we got hurt deeply and took that hurt personally.

Bitterness will replace grace because we take what they are doing very personally toward us, our children, our life. And through that, you will destroy yourself. God is asking you to extend what He gave you, to them……….to save you! That is our God. Always looking out for us!!

Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for Him; do not fret when men prosper in their ways, when they carry out wicked schemes. Psalm 37:7