The Ministry of Standing for Reconciliation

QUESTION: IS GOD CALLING ME TO STAND FOR MY SPOUSE’S SALVATION AND THE RECONCILIATION OF MY MARRIAGE? WHAT SCRIPTURES SHOW ME WHAT I SHOULD DO?

-I have 3 Scriptures I want to share with you about being called to Stand for reconciliation, how, and why. There are plenty more, but these 3 are a great place to start.

I Cor 7:15-16 But if the unbeliever (husband or wife) leaves, let him leave. A brother or a sister is not bound in such cases. God has called you to live in peace. 16 For you, wife, how do you know whether you will save your husband? Or you, husband, how do you know whether you will save your wife?

1 Peter 3:1 In the same way, wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, even if some disobey the Christian message, they may be won over without a message by the way their wives live

 2 Corinthians 5:18 And all of this is a gift from God, who brought us back to Himself through Christ. And God has given us this task of reconciling people to Him.

#1  I Cor 7:15-16 God has CALLED you to peace. I am going to share something EYE OPENING. You may think called to peace means God is calling you to walk away and be happy, without conflict, no more suffering. This word CALLED is Kaleo

CALLED– kaleó. in this context, are used with a specification of the mediate end (for the highest or final end of the calling is eternal salvation) Strongs Concordance.

Strongs Concordance gives these ONLY these scriptures together in this context for how Kaleo is used as an invitation to meditate: 

 Hebrews 9:15: For this reason, Christ is the mediator of a new covenant, that those who are called may receive the promised eternal inheritance–

1 Thessalonians 4:6 Never harm or cheat a fellow believer in this matter by violating his wife,-vs 7 God has called us to live holy lives, not impure lives.

Galatians 5:13: For you, brethren, have been called to liberty; only do not use liberty as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another.

In these verses, you can see the invitation as a mediator between flesh and holiness. 

 And PEACE– eiréné–peace between individuals, i. e. harmony,  in a mild and friendly spirit. It’s not talking about YOUR peace. But peace YOU create when you are meditating between individuals! Think of a negotiator that is sent in to bring peace into a situation. 

We are CALLED to be a MEDIATOR between our spouse and God. God has called us to mediate peace, in agreement with Him, in hope with Him to reconcile them to Christ!

MEDIATOR: to settle disputes as an intermediary between parties; reconcile. 2.to bring about peace as an intermediary between parties by compromise, reconciliation, removal of misunderstanding, etc.

 Another note I want to make here, Paul was talking about a person that left their spouse because they could not handle them being a believer. Think about the TIME. These were Jews who were seeing the conversion of their spouses turning and following something that was brand new and very controversial. Today it would be like two people who are atheists and marry under that term and condition. Or two people in a completely different religion and one of them turns and gets saved. The spouse can’t handle this and walks away because of this reason. It’s not talking about a believing spouse who gets tempted and snared by the adulterous spirit. It’s specifically saying “If your spouse is an unbeliever and walks away because of YOUR FAITH, let them go.” THIS is very misquoted and very misunderstood. This is the scripture that will be used over and over by worldly people and Christians as to WHY you can divorce and not stand. 

HOW?

#2   1 Peter 3:1 they may be won over without a message by the way their wives live

We mediate peace through OUR peace, how we live in peace according to Gods word. We must be peace, display peace and project peace in and through all we do.

WON OVER MEANS-trading good for something better. Trading UP! I gain, acquire, win (over), avoid loss.

behavior –anastrophé–“down to up” and “turn”) – properly, up-turning; (figuratively) change of outward behavior from an “up-turn” of inner beliefs. the ways in which holy living shows itself,

And finally,

#3  2 Corinthians 5:18 And God has given us this task of reconciling people to Him.

This is the calling and true purpose of every Christian, to save souls. We don’t struggle with knowing our purpose of reconciling people to Him if that is our child, our parents, siblings, friends, or even acquaintances, BUT for some reason, we struggle greatly when it’s our spouse because the personal hurt and pain they cause interferes with us wanting to mediate for them. We place our own purpose, formed out of the hurt, before God’s greater purpose of HIS RELATIONSHIP with your spouse being more important. 

 A very important note: Being called to stand is not the same as being promised a restored marriage. The only way you can truly understand this and be a peace with this, is when you understand that standing is more than getting your spouse and marriage back. WAY more. Once you can truly want and desire your spouse to have a relationship with God without it being to benefit you, then you will have arrived at what standing in the gap is all about. 

Standing with You,
Sheila Hollinger