When my storm hit, I had a lot of direction from close family who had very good intentions, telling me what was going on, what I should do, and how I should do it. Sometimes it sounded perfect, and I would try but it never was a solid foundation, a rock for me to stand firm upon. 

Man’s advice just can’t anchor you like God’s anchor can. The storm is way too powerful and will overcome any man that leans on his own, or someones else’s understanding.

It was only when I learned where my help came from and made Jesus my only source of direction that I found that Anchor that held me firmly in place and stopped me from being tossed to and fro. 

so that we may no longer be children, tossed to and fro by the waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine, Ephesians 4:14

After that, I was able to be ENCOURAGED by things I read or watched and by people I talked to because they were not my source of truth, but my source of support. There is a huge difference between Standing on what God has personally told you and following the crowd that suits you best. 

Each of us has many beliefs that shape and mold our character. As the founder of this ministry, I had to relinquish many of my ideas and allow God to implant His wishes so this ministry would model Him and not what I wanted or believed.

Many ministries are black and white, have a strong mission, and target audience. They don’t allow much room for the Stander, who has not yet found their way or firm footing because they clearly heard God’s direction. Many lukewarm or backslid Christians become Standers and start the new journey to learning about God, marriage, and the body of Christ. What must go through their already confused minds when the body is not even in agreement? And some are being condemned before they even begin. The advice we do all agree upon and give, “Let Go, seek God, find the secret place.” is great advice, but they have NO clue how to obtain it, apply it, and be sustained by it.

Many who come to our ministry have visited a lot of marriage and standing groups; they have heard all the scriptures and what that group has to say and offer about it. Only to head into the next group and be told something a little or a lot different. 

Then we have new Standers, fresh out of the world and deeply entrenched in the world’s belief system about marriage and how you handle an unfaithful spouse. They still have, “Move on; God wants you to be happy. You are in denial and crazy. Let them go!” ringing in their ears.

The more they seek answers from people and groups for their situation, the more confused they become, which makes them even more desperate for answers, this creates a “tickly my ears” scenario so hope come from the wrong place. 

They come looking for someone to tell them what to do about their marriage. They want to know if God is going to restore; if God is for their marriage because they have a marriage that doesn’t look like everyone else’s. They soak up every promise man is making that God IS going to restore and this is deception.

I know this desperation for truth and help very well, we all do. We all want the reassurance that we are doing exactly what we should be doing to get the results we all so desperately want.

BUT, man, ministries, groups, church, PEOPLE can’t give you the reassurance that will sustain you. They can give you what you want to hear, need to hear, hope to hear, but …………it will fade, it will be tested, it will be attacked from all sides and you will be left confused, unsure and possibly worse off than before.

I can’t model our ministry around my marriage, storm, restoration, or what God told me. I have to model it around this truth.

My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth. Psalm 118:7

“I keep my eyes always on the Lord. With Him at my right hand, I will not be shaken.” Psalm 16:8

 7 The LORD is my helper. Therefore, I will look in triumph on those who hate me….. 8 it is better to trust God than to put confidence in man. Psalms 118: 7-8

Following people, will cause you to miss out on the assurance and confidence that is needed to keep you steadfast and convinced. 

This is why Paul spent time completely ALONE with JESUS after his conversion. For 3 years, he was alone with the Holy Spirit, instead of being shown and taught by the Apostles that WALKED with Jesus. I mean, if they could not be trusted to show him truth, what message does this portray?? There is no replacement for the Holy Spirit.

I was alone for the 7 years of my storm. No church, no marriage groups, or ministries to shape and mold my mind and beliefs, not because I wanted to or for lack of trying. God frustrated my efforts and kept me tucked in HIS classroom and would not let me stray. I didn’t kill me. In fact, it was the best place for me.

I would never have been able to stand for 7 years on man’s advice alone. It was God’s will being known for my life, the fear of the Lord, my love for the Lord and desire to please Him that rooted, grounded, and nourished me to STAND FIRM.

You must POSTURE yourself to hear God and know that you know what path He is placing you on. Only when you know this, will you be able to Stand Firm, be anchored, filled with affirmation, confidence, and the peace that surpasses all understanding. People won’t be able to bring you confusion, doubts, worry, and fear simply with their opinions.

If you don’t know, then it would be best if you fasted from the opinions of others.  how many groups are you in and do you spend more time there seeking answers then with God?


Here is a bit of direction to help you as you seek HIM:

  • Be patient and don’t allow impatience to lead and guide you. Learn to be still, wait for the answer to come to you in HIS time.
  •  Don’t make snap decisions out of feelings, especially emotions that come directly from impatience or hurtful circumstances. 
  • Learn to recognize what it feels like when your soul and spirit are in conflict. Our spirits are connected to God and trying to guide us gently. It will not allow peace to happen when our soul is not in alignment.
  • Learn to recognize our own pride, rebellion, stubbornness and how that makes us harden to the truth in an obstinate “I just don’t care anymore” attitude.
  • Learn how to be comfortable in the silence and stillness. Even when God is not saying anything.

These are just a few things to help you on this quest for truth. It’s NOT going to come quickly, give yourself plenty of time and grace.

Standing with you,
Sheila Hollinger

  • We are passionate about helping Standers as they journey through this very difficult time in their life. Will you PARTER with us?
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