I’ve wanted to write for a while. I wanted to unleash my feelings, desires, hardships, etc. Every time I scroll though posts on the Facebook Group, I read someone else’s. This was my first holiday alone, divorced, and missing everything. I learned of a new relationship for my beloved. Work was imploding all around me. And there’s always something else needed for the car or house.

We all have a lot of “thorns in our sides” that we want validation in our feelings for. Even as I’m writing this, I’m having to believe what I write and trust it. I’m struggling just the same as you.

I have also read a few posts that remind us not to focus on the details, the negative, what’s missing, etc.

“But, God you don’t understand”
“But my spouse has done this and this”
“But he/she said this”
“But I spent all day in bed crying”

Do these sound familiar? These are my recent thoughts and feelings. In the end, what do we know?

We KNOW our beloved is in sin.
We KNOW we are not free from a life of pain.
We KNOW that God is no respecter of person.
We KNOW that what He begins, He finishes.
We KNOW there is a purpose in the pain.
We KNOW that God rewards those who diligently seek Him.
We KNOW that we will reap a harvest if we don’t give up.

We KNOW so much more!

I challenge you to make a list of more things you KNOW. This will change your perspective, your attitude, and even your feelings. This will shut down the enemy almost instantly!

And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.  9 Keep putting into practice all you learned and received from me—everything you heard from me and saw me doing. THEN THE GOD OF PEACE WILL BE WITH YOU. Philippians 4:8-9

Do you like feeling the pain, the hurt, the rejection….?
Of Course Not!

Give yourself the time to notice it, feel it, then decide to be done with it. Throw those feelings to the side by reminding yourself of what you KNOW about our God!

God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.  1 Corinthians 10:13

Let us hold resolutely to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful. Hebrews 10:23

What do you KNOW about your spouse?

I have had unrelenting flashbacks of the first dates, the time we met, and many beautiful moments over the past 2 days (since I learned about his new relationship). Why? Because I think God wants me to remember that there is love there. That he is my person. That I am my beloved’s, and he is mine! These memories were bringing me to tears because I was focusing on what I was currently missing and what I think he’s giving to someone else now. That’s the wrong reason, and I knew it instantly. Those were good memories to keep my heart soft to him and blew a little on the flame in my heart for him, so it doesn’t go out. I have every reason to be bitter and sad. God doesn’t want that for me.

So, yes, we are sad. We are lonely. We are tempted to throw away the stand (daily). You are not alone! Not only are you doing God’s work by standing, but thousands, if not more of us are also battling the same. As Daniel had to pray for 21 days for the same thing before he got his answer, you must keep praying for yours. Is it easy? No. Were we promised easy? No. Is anything easy ever worth it? No. Do you want something that isn’t worth it? No.

You’ve had your time of sadness. You’ve had others say they’re praying for you. You’ve released some feelings into the atmosphere. Now stomp them down and renounce them all because our God is greater than the enemy of this world! Rebuke what is happening with the anger and bitterness you carry. Forgive yourself, forgive your spouse, forgive the other person and go about doing God’s work again. I promise your tears will slow, your heart will soften, your face will smile more, and you’ll have hope again.

I love you all and fully grieve with you, But I can’t stay in that grief any longer. We are beginning another year on this earth soon. I still have declarations for 2022 and they look bleek, not gonna lie. I’m handing them over to God daily because He can work miracles. He is the God of the 11th hour and we are not done yet!

Jennipher Ringer




Jenniper Ringer




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