We all understand and agree our spouse are LOST. But what escapes many is the understanding when that  no longer applies to them. When is a lost spouse no longer lost and you can relax a bit and hang up your battle boots?

 

When they come home? When they tell you “I messed up and I am sorry, and I want this marriage to work? I will never do this again.” ??

What is the biblical definition of lost and what examples does the Word of God give? (I always get emotional when I deeply study this world. And we all should this is NO JOKE. MANY WILL BE LOST FOREVER)

In Luke 15 Jesus gives us parables about this word: apollumi-Lost-I am perishing (the resultant death being viewed as certain)to incur the loss of true or eternal life; to be delivered up to eternal misery: implies permanent (absolute) destruction, i.e. to cancel out (remove); “to die, with the implication of ruin and destruction” ; cause to be lost (utterly perish) by experiencing a miserable end. to be blotted out, to vanish away

Jesus also calls them a sinner: hamartólos: sinful” to forfeit by missing the mark” falling short of what God approves. especially wicked

(Definitions are from the Strongs Concordance)

In Luke 15 Jesus give us a clear example through the parables of the lost coin, the lost woman had to turn the LIGHT ON to clean up their own house to find the coin that was valuable. Then we have the ONE lost sheep that wandered from the flock, JESUS is the one that went looking for it. And lastly, we have the lost son. When they run from their upbringing, their responsibility to go into the world and enter into wasteful spending, where we get the word prodigality. Here the father waits for the child to come to the end of the money, where he can no longer use the money to have fun with prostitutes and parties.

All of these parables give direction about a LOST, SINFUL PERSON. Jesus says about the lost coin and the lost sheep “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one SINNER who repents.” Luke 15:10  And for the lost son, He says the son said “‘Father, I have SINNED against HEAVEN and against you.” vs 21

 

It is clear what a lost person must do before they are no longer lost and it’s NOT return home and try and make the marriage work.

They must understand they have missed the mark with their Creator, what they are doing is not approved by God and they start to actually CARE they are falling short. We see many of our lost spouses NOT CARING what God thinks, they may even being rebelling against Him on purpose in anger. 

Their hearts must start to care. When it cares more about being accepted and loved by God over the desires of the flesh, when the heart can no longer stand to be rejected by God because of their unconfessed sins, it will turn to God. The lost will come to the end of being an orphan. Being unaccepted and alone. It will turn to JESUS and want to be found, saved.

IF your spouse comes home and has not had this heart turning repentance, they are still lost. Still a sinner and therefore you are STILL STANDING.

And they don’t just repent and be done. They pursue God and start the process of being transformed. Some of that worldly junk takes years to be delivered from. Sometimes there is instant deliverance from certain things but most often it takes dedication and commitment by the spouse to be set free from strongholds. They will mess up, make mistakes, sometimes even revisit sin that tempted them before. Most often the revisit is necessary to reinforce how much they really don’t want to go down that path again and be separated from God through their sin. 

We as Standers are no different. We are also working out our salvation and being transformed by the washing of the World of God.

If your spouse comes home, unrepentant to God, and you fall into a comfort and security that they are no longer lost, and your marriage is secure…….you will let down your fight and stop praying and interceding as you should. It’s not time to take off your Standing battle boots, you now have an IN HOME lost beloved, and your marriage is not secure until your spouse is secure in their identity and adoption.

Standing in battle boots with you,
Sheila Hollinger