The Word of God doesn’t tell us that we are not allowed to be angry because there is justifiable anger.

Ephesians 4:26 Be angry, do not sin…..
BE ANGRY [at sin—at immorality, at injustice, at ungodly behavior], YET DO NOT SIN AMP

What we are warned about is the sin that can accompany anger like how we react by feeling privileged, justified, and owed. Another ways we can sin is to be blind to how we contributed to the situation that is now causing us so much misery and grief, and then to deflect and blame everyone around us, including God, but never acknowledging our own faults and failures, OR, we acknowledge it to some degree, but never enough to where we really see the truth. 

You might need to go back and read this again because I’m sure our first thought was, “this is  exactly what my spouse is doing.” But we are here to talk about you! lol

We see this over and over with lost spouses, and we talk about it. However, what we don’t talk about is the hurt and anger we hold against God because “He let this happen,” and it feels very unfair and unjust.

There are a few things to consider if you are angry and blaming God – which is a sin, as God is blameless. 

Even before I was a Christian, I knew one thing – the Word of God is where we have to go to get instruction and guidelines. If we don’t understand it, that is not an excuse, even though I have used that one many times. I lived my life always blaming everything – never owning up to my lack of responsibility and the role I played in the destruction. Yes, I was a victim of many things in my childhood, but once I became an adult and then later a Christian, I had all the proper tools, all the profound weapons at my fingertips – to find healing, wholeness, and transformation, that would take me out of the place of being a victim. The choice to remain stuck where I was, was totally on me, hiding behind being emotionally overwhelmed. The truth was, I just didn’t care enough to change. No matter how depressed, how unhappy, or sick of myself I was, I could not muster up the desire… REAL desire… to really, honestly, change and pursue change until it came to pass. 

Nothing about ME was worth fighting for and putting in that effort! But, my marriage was! When that got attacked, I could no longer hide behind being a victim of “look what is being done to me,” and I had to come to terms with the part I had played as a lukewarm Christian who was not taking my responsibility seriously. The Word is clear: “What you sow, you will reap. The enemy comes like a roaring lion seeking someone to destroy.” What better prey than a person who blames, won’t put in the effort to read and obey the Word of God, because “….” (insert excuses here).

I lived in this lie that I was a good, law-abiding person. I was honest, faithful, and loyal, so I didn’t need to really worry about some of the things in the Word that I was failing at. In fact, when I opened the Word of God, there was so much shame and condemnation that came at me because all I felt was: there was no way I measured up, no way I would ever be the kind of person that could measure up, and I was destined to be the worst child of God, ever.  All I could do was hope that God would somehow understand and I could continue living my lukewarm, worldly life, where I was comfortable with getting into heaven….by the skin of my teeth!

I had never considered that this attitude was going to open the door to sowing what I had been reaping.

We blame God for that harvest. It’s not His fault.

He gave us clear directions and understanding that if we lived according to the ways of the world, our sowing – the way we think, believe, and react – would be an enemy to Him, and this implies that our fruits – our choices – are not under His protection, and so the devourer comes in and wreaks havoc. When that happens, we turn to God and cry out, “Why didn’t you stop it? If you are a good, loving, caring Father, why did you allow this to happen to my family and me?”

It was out of the love God had for me that He allowed the harvest of what my husband and I had been sowing to happen. I never found the strength to fight for myself and be free, but I did with my marriage. I think I would still be that very broken, very lost, emotionally unstable, and damaged woman had I not experienced my marriage storm…and God knew this.

So, what the enemy meant for harm, God used it… and oh boy, did He go above and beyond using it! If you are reading this, you can see that not only did He use it to restore ME to Himself FIRST, so that I would love Him……TRULY LOVE HIM….He went on to restore my emotional and spiritual health and then restored my marriage. You can also see how He set me apart to help others. I’m sure the devil is kicking himself for picking on our marriage because I certainly NEVER EVER.. EVER.. saw this ministry coming out of that SEVEN-year season of suffering…Not once!

I tell you this with ALL honesty: While I had always known that I would have a ministry, I never knew, not even IN the storm, that it would be marriage-related. My greatest struggle had always been with my weight, so I was sure that would be where my ministry was AFTER I overcame it. I still have not overcome it – not even close – but that message is for another time.

If you are hurt and angry at God for the season of suffering through your marriage storm, maybe it’s time to take a good hard look at your life before the storm and see if there was something in there that you and your spouse were sowing, that would produce such a harvest.

My spouse and I were sowing everything we should NOT have been sowing because the harvest that came was absolutely what we planted, and that was not anyone’s fault..but our own! We said it then and still say it now about the things we know we are failing at planting right now. What we don’t say is, “God owes us. God won’t let anything bad happen to us. And maybe if we are lucky, the enemy will skip over us.” Nope, we know when you play with fire, you will get burned. And we both know that there are places in our personal lives that, if we don’t change and take them seriously, the burning is going to come, and it won’t be God’s fault at all.

It is time to stop shifting blame and pointing fingers, but instead to SEE who is really the sower. It’s never too late to cry out to God in confession and let Him heal, help, change, and give you new seeds to sow. All He ever wants for us is to SEE ourselves; SEE where we are lost – in the wrong focus, wrong belief, and understanding, ensnared – and then to change.

The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. 2 Cor  10:4

He never leaves us without help. There is SO much help for us to change. His Word brings all the power we need. We just need to read It, Speak It, Believe It, Declare It, and RECEIVE IT! The body of Christ is full of anointed people who God has blessed with the gifts to help in your time of need. It’s OKAY to need help; reach out and get it. What’s not okay is to make excuses not to use what He has provided! 

Let God’s love for you bring the healing He so desires for you.

Standing with you,

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