The Word of God doesn’t tell us that we are not allowed to be angry because there is justifiable anger.
Ephesians 4:26 Be angry, do not sin…..
BE ANGRY [at sin—at immorality, at injustice, at ungodly behavior], YET DO NOT SIN AMP
What we are warned about is the sin that can accompany anger like how we react by feeling privileged, justified, and owed. Another ways we can sin is to be blind to how we contributed to the situation that is now causing us so much misery and grief, and then to deflect and blame everyone around us, including God, but never acknowledging our own faults and failures, OR, we acknowledge it to some degree, but never enough to where we really see the truth.
You might need to go back and read this again because I’m sure our first thought was, “this is exactly what my spouse is doing.” But we are here to talk about you! lol
We see this over and over with lost spouses, and we talk about it. However, what we don’t talk about is the hurt and anger we hold against God because “He let this happen,” and it feels very unfair and unjust.
There are a few things to consider if you are angry and blaming God – which is a sin, as God is blameless.
Even before I was a Christian, I knew one thing – the Word of God is where we have to go to get instruction and guidelines. If we don’t understand it, that is not an excuse, even though I have used that one many times. I lived my life always blaming everything – never owning up to my lack of responsibility and the role I played in the destruction. Yes, I was a victim of many things in my childhood, but once I became an adult and then later a Christian, I had all the proper tools, all the profound weapons at my fingertips – to find healing, wholeness, and transformation, that would take me out of the place of being a victim. The choice to remain stuck where I was, was totally on me, hiding behind being emotionally overwhelmed. The truth was, I just didn’t care enough to change. No matter how depressed, how unhappy, or sick of myself I was, I could not muster up the desire… REAL desire… to really, honestly, change and pursue change until it came to pass.
Nothing about ME was worth fighting for and putting in that effort! But, my marriage was! When that got attacked, I could no longer hide behind being a victim of “look what is being done to me,” and I had to come to terms with the part I had played as a lukewarm Christian who was not taking my responsibility seriously. The Word is clear: “What you sow, you will reap. The enemy comes like a roaring lion seeking someone to destroy.” What better prey than a person who blames, won’t put in the effort to read and obey the Word of God, because “….” (insert excuses here).
I lived in this lie that I was a good, law-abiding person. I was honest, faithful, and loyal, so I didn’t need to really worry about some of the things in the Word that I was failing at. In fact, when I opened the Word of God, there was so much shame and condemnation that came at me because all I felt was: there was no way I measured up, no way I would ever be the kind of person that could measure up, and I was destined to be the worst child of God, ever. All I could do was hope that God would somehow understand and I could continue living my lukewarm, worldly life, where I was comfortable with getting into heaven….by the skin of my teeth!
I had never considered that this attitude was going to open the door to sowing what I had been reaping.
We blame God for that harvest. It’s not His fault.
He gave us clear directions and understanding that if we lived according to the ways of the world, our sowing – the way we think, believe, and react – would be an enemy to Him, and this implies that our fruits – our choices – are not under His protection, and so the devourer comes in and wreaks havoc. When that happens, we turn to God and cry out, “Why didn’t you stop it? If you are a good, loving, caring Father, why did you allow this to happen to my family and me?”
It was out of the love God had for me that He allowed the harvest of what my husband and I had been sowing to happen. I never found the strength to fight for myself and be free, but I did with my marriage. I think I would still be that very broken, very lost, emotionally unstable, and damaged woman had I not experienced my marriage storm…and God knew this.
So, what the enemy meant for harm, God used it… and oh boy, did He go above and beyond using it! If you are reading this, you can see that not only did He use it to restore ME to Himself FIRST, so that I would love Him……TRULY LOVE HIM….He went on to restore my emotional and spiritual health and then restored my marriage. You can also see how He set me apart to help others. I’m sure the devil is kicking himself for picking on our marriage because I certainly NEVER EVER.. EVER.. saw this ministry coming out of that SEVEN-year season of suffering…Not once!
I tell you this with ALL honesty: While I had always known that I would have a ministry, I never knew, not even IN the storm, that it would be marriage-related. My greatest struggle had always been with my weight, so I was sure that would be where my ministry was AFTER I overcame it. I still have not overcome it – not even close – but that message is for another time.
If you are hu