Because “Why is this happening?” is the question most frequently asked by Standers and the most complex to answer, we have dedicated a whole section to it.

When you are unaware of what really is going on, this leaves room for lies, torment, deception and misguided direction to take root and mislead you. Some of these misconceptions are, 1) you believe you are the one that broke the marriage, then you are the one that needs to fix it. 2) The marriage is the reason your spouse walked away. 3) Your relationship with your spouse is the main relationship that needs fixing. 4) You are asking God, trying to convince  God to save your marriage, (instead of understanding that God is leading this and asking YOU to partner with HIM!)


IF you want to stand well, stand firm without confusion, without constantly asking why? What is going on? How did this happen, and how you can Stand Firm without feeling like you are crazy……….then you must put in the time and effort to learn. We have provided you with many resources!

So, lets dig in! 

Compassion is one of the most powerful weapons a Stander can have to help them stand strong and fight courageously. But, due to all the wrongs, offenses, and hurts caused by the spouse, compassion is hard to come by.

Knowledge, wisdom, and understanding by TRUTH are critical here. Without these, we can’t forgive, we can’t release them into God’s hands, and we can’t extend compassion and mercy.

With more truth comes more compassion,  which helps us move into a place of healing and purposeful waiting as we trust God and yield to Him, not only the methods He chooses to accomplish His will in them but the length of time He takes to do it.

We have provided you with a few great articles to use as resources. The list will continue to grow and change as more understanding and revelation is given. We encourage you to read each article whether you feel it pertains to you or not as each one offers help to understand better the spiritual battle in which you and your spouse are engaged.


There are many other categories to read through to help you understand the mind and heart of the lost spouse. We also have a YouTube Channel where many of these topics are discussed.