I think this devotion is going to resonate with each Stander on some level of how you started, where you have been, and where you are heading.

When I first started standing, the obsession and oppression of the storm was suffocating. I could not escape the reality, not even in my sleep (if I could even sleep). It was all I could think about. It controlled my every waking thought and gave me terrible nightmares. I spent hours on the phone with my mom and dad talking about it, trying to brainstorm a solution. When I wasn’t talking to them about it, I was talking to myself and God. None of it did any good. To be honest, it was actually making things worse. It was a painful realization, but it was the beginning of letting “IT” go.

This “IT” was what my spouse was doing to ME.
“IT” was what I was trying to understand.
“IT” was fear, impatience, insecurity, doubts, and worry that would drive me to do things.
“IT” was what I was trying to change.
“IT” was what I was trying to control.

“IT” was the boundary I was trying to place to force them to change.
“IT” was the ultimatum I was pondering.
“IT” was a million questions I was demanding answers to.

“IT” was a million different little things that had now become my universe.

This “IT” was turning me into a victim of their choices and I truly did not like the emotions or the person I was becoming. One little thing that ‘they’ did, would become the “IT” for days and rob me of my sanity. I wanted out! I wanted me back. I wanted my peace, joy and …………. HOPE! But how?

That is where you start to apply the “let IT go.” Let them go. “Let go and let God.” But this can be very confusing to a Stander. They think they have to let go of hope, stop interceding, praying and believing for marriage restoration, and give up hope their spouse is going to be saved. NO! You have to get yourself to a healthy place first, so you can pray with the right heart, mind, and spirit. This is also why we zip our lips during this time. WE are not in a good place to be speaking to our spouse or even entering into warfare for them.

What is “IT”?

It’s anything that comes and magnifies itself as bigger than God; anything that comes and brings you down; anything that comes and is negative, ugly, and does NO good to follow. “IT” leads you down a rabbit hole and traps you in YOUR pain. “IT” is all the wrongs that have been done to you. “IT” brings you confusion, robs your peace and makes you question, doubt and wonder if you are really doing what God asked, when you clearly KNOW He has.

The reason it is so important to let “IT” go and hand “IT” to God, is because “IT” is death and keeps you from walking in the fullness and power of your identity, having the mind of Christ, walking in the fruit of the Spirit and doing all things in love – the real agape love of God.

When I was suffocating under all the “ITS” I was a mess. I was not a powerful Christian, who read the Word, wielded her sword, and interceded for her husband. NO! I was pathetic. I was a broken record. Sounding brass! I was a woman scorned and nothing was more important than MY PAIN. “IT” keeps YOU a victim, bound in self-centered misery. Every prayer, every thought, every waking moment was about ME and what was being done to ME!

Letting “IT” go helps you find your power again. This is the power that comes with FREEDOM FROM YOURSELF! This is the freedom in JESUS when you hand those million “ITS” to Him, and take on HIS YOKE, because that “IT” is light and that “IT” is easy to bear! 

 Then Jesus said, “Come to Me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you. Let Me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.”  Matthew 11:28–30

At that time in my life, when the “IT” felt like the weight of the world, this scripture, to me, was a lifesaver, one that truly showed me direction. I saw that I was yoked to “IT” and it was so heavy, I was not moving. I was exhausting myself trying to make this plow move.

God was asking me to unyoke myself from my husband so He could step into that place and shoulder the burden of my husband’s soul. He was asking me to pick up HIS YOKE because it would provide rest for my weary soul.  A yoke is what unites (joins) two people to move (work) together as one.

When we say “Let IT Go” we are reminding you that Jesus is asking you to give Him the burden of your spouse, your marriage, their relationship to God, and to pick up HIS YOKE and partner with Him for your weary battered soul. He is asking you to enter into a place where you focus on YOU and learn who you are in HIM.

Me, myself and God

It’s in this place that the “IT” holds no more power over us and truly rolls off our backs. It’s in this place with Jesus that we come to really see and understand the state of our spouse’s soul and the darkness they are in. We can’t see that when we are yoked with “IT” and bearing the whole weight of the burden.

From this place, being yoked with Jesus, you truly come to a powerful and mighty place to intercede and pray for your spouse. All selfishness is gone. You no longer are overtaken by being a victim, but you are an overcomer! You are partnering with Jesus to intercede and snatch your spouse from the fire. 

…save with fear, pulling them out of the fire, hating even the garment defiled by the flesh. Jude 1:23 

Father, We Thank YOU for the light yoke You provide to us. We pray for help to remove the yoke upon our necks of a burden we can’t bear. We ask Your help in letting “IT” go and helping us to forgive. Heal the pain and anger in our hearts. Help us choose daily to take upon ourselves YOUR YOKE and walk in the fullness of that. May we find peace and rest for our weary souls in You. In Jesus Name, Amen

Standing with you,
Sheila Hollinger

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