Security is freedom and assurance
We are all designed to need assurance. To be sure of being loved, needed, wanted, and to have a purpose. We feel secure when all of those needs are met.
When we have freedom from those things that threaten to take away our feeling of assurance and being safe, we will feel secure.
So, to be secure, we have to have both the assurance that all our needs are being met, and the freedom from the threat that comes to take them away.
The moment any of those things get tested, you will start to operate differently. For some of us, we have NEVER felt secure, so operating out of a place of always trying to be assured, and always trying to gain freedom from what threatens it has just become so much a part of us we don’t know any other way.
Identity
We are created as humans to KNOW Him intimately. To have a deep resounding relationship with Him so we not only know Who He is, but who WE ARE. That is how we get our identity, which is what makes us secure and living in peace without fear of threat! When we come to know how much we are loved, cherished, adored, wanted, and needed by the Father, we get ALL the assurance we could ever need. As we come to know Him, trust Him, and depend on Him, we gain ALL the freedom from the threats that come to take that from us.
Nothing will stop God from having a relationship with us.
No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:39
Insecurity is one of the main things that drive a person later in life to abandon what is no longer working and go seek out something else to make them feel secure.
That deep feeling of insecurity is known only to them as being unhappy, and discontent. You will watch them fill their life up with FUN and they seem to be super happy, blessed, content, and living life. They are blowing through money, going places, living it up, while you are home, weeping. BUT as you weep and turn to the Lord, YOU are getting the very thing that your spouse is actually seeking.
YOU are learning Who to go to for help. That is IF you are learning to seek Him through His Word, praise, worship, and the real body of Christ! If you getting your help through other sources or looking for ways to stop being miserable by seeking happiness then you are seeking the wrong things to gain security.
If your spouse is not seeking GOD to make them happy, secure, and remove all threats and they keep living it up, don’t allow it to blind and deceive you. We get our feelings in such turmoil when we hear about them having fun because to us, fun is a reward. If we are having fun, we are doing something right, and if we are miserable and suffering, we are doing something wrong! Right? Not according to God’s Kingdom! The world teaches us backwards.
Blessed, happy, fortunate is the man that is ASSURED in knowing who he is in Christ!
Look at this scripture,
Epaphras, who is one of you and a servant of Christ Jesus, sends greetings. He is always wrestling in prayer for you, that you may stand firm in all the will of God, mature and fully assured. Colossians 4:12
One of the reasons I know God has placed this ministry on my heart and life is because this is what I wrestle in prayer for you and your spouses. While I do pray for marriage restoration, it’s not the THING I wrestle deeply in prayer for. I pray for you to become FULLY MATURE in Him. To be able to know Him to where you are FULLY SECURE. So that you are free from those things that come to tear your identity and security from you. Free from fear, unworthiness, rejection, and any other thing that temps you away from Him.
Things would be VERY different if I had not come to know my identity from anything other than Him. Had I still had my identity in my husband, marriage, job, or other things, I would be teaching and encouraging you to pursue God in a way that used Him to get your spouses back.
Insecure people will teach others to seek what they have found as a substitute to make them “secure.” Only enforcing more insecurity and leading people AWAY from JESUS!
When God convinced me that I was valuable to Him just as I was, that I didn’t need to be perfect before He would accept or love me, everything changed for me. I had always been a person that was not assured and always living out of threat. Always seeking to get my needs met. Fear drove me to control my husband and life because I knew no other way to make myself feel secure.
It was not easy for God to convince me that He wanted me. I was convinced that I had way too much wrong and was unworthy to be loved. Because my flaws were too overwhelming for me to fix alone, I needed God to help me, but that is where the problem was. I was too broken to accept that He could love me as is, but how else was I supposed to get the help I needed?
This is what many go through, including our spouses. Their own wrong beliefs that God won’t love them “as is” is because of shame and keeps them from seeking Him.
The path to being fully assured and having freedom from threat starts with the scriptures that teach us how important we are to Him. We must get these from our heads to our hearts, so they transform us completely. And you can’t do that unless you accept and receive it. That means you have to let go of any wrong belief that you have to fix yourself before God will want you. You have to be healed of rejection and unworthiness roots which are strongholds built from lies before you can fully embrace your identity in Him.
I read the scriptures that told me that God chose me, wanted me, loved me, and all my shame, roots of unworthiness and rejection blockaded it. It would not allow me to accept His desire for me. It was a huge struggle for me until I stood up to it. I had to keep choosing to believe that God’s Word was the truth. That it was for me, I was not excluded and I had to fight my unbelief and declare that I was loved. That I was chosen. That God wanted me just as I was even though I could really not understand why. “Why me? I just don’t get it.” This is still something I struggle with because we tend to want to look at what we do wrong as reasons against our values and worth.
We can’t let what we fail at become that thief that kills, steals, destroys our value and worth.
WOW, what a revelation!!! We do this not only with ourselves but with our spouses too. When they fail us, we tend to devalue and discount them as worthy enough. Thank God He doesn’t do that with us. In fact, the more flaws and sin we have, the more ATTRACTIVE to Jesus we become. He came to save the sinners, the lost, broken, blinded in living in darkness.
So you can look at what is done wrong but never look at it in such a way that it steals your hope. Look at it with the understanding that God’s love is unconditional. He loves “AS IS”. He opens the door and lets you in, then begins the work of change.
For those of you struggling with identity, it’s time to dig into the Word and make the choice to accept the truth. No matter how hard that is, you MUST believe His Word as truth.
You are CHOSEN out of the many that are called. (Matthew 22:14) That word chosen is eklektos-selected (chosen from, out of), especially as a deeply personal choice – literally “chosen, out of a personal preference (intention).” It’s where we get the word ELECTED from. You are God’s choice, out of the many that came forward and answered the call.
“make every effort to confirm your calling and election.” 2 Peter 1:10
For God knew His people in advance, and He chose them to become like His Son, so that His Son would be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. Romans 8:29
9 But you are A CHOSEN RACE, A royal PRIESTHOOD, A HOLY NATION, A PEOPLE FOR God’s OWN POSSESSION, so that you may proclaim the excellencies of Him who has called you out of darkness into His marvelous light; 10 for you once were NOT A PEOPLE, but now you are THE PEOPLE OF GOD; you had NOT RECEIVED MERCY, but now you have RECEIVED MERCY. 1 Peter 2:9-10
Don’t let insecurity be that thief that steals all that is yours. If you are struggling and in despair over things lost that you can’t seem to get back, it’s time to look to what can’t be taken or stolen. His love and desire for you. Nothing can separate us from Him, so don’t let unbelief rob you.
Brothers and sisters beloved by God, we know that He has chosen you. 1 Thess 1:4
Standing with you,
Sheila Hollinger
