I want to encourage those who are standing, male or female, but particularly husbands. I hope you know God doesn’t see our gender when HE is after us. Wives’ hard hearts DO get crushed, and replaced with hearts of flesh!
I will give them an undivided heart and put a new spirit in them; I will remove from them their heart of stone and give them a heart of flesh. Ezekiel 11:19
I am a former lost wife turned Stander.
I didn’t know I was lost until the Lord changed my heart and I began standing for my marriage. My husband and I had been married 22 years when he left, a year later divorced me, and still, a year after that, married the strange woman.
My husband stood for most of our marriage, and I believe got tired of waiting and gave up. Of course, the enemy had brought the strange woman in, who did and said all the things I didn’t and he needed. After years of dealing with MY hardheartedness, he gave in to temptation. I was so disrespectful, callous, selfish, and self-centered our entire marriage. I gave no thought to how my husband was feeling. In my lost mind, since he never complained, things were fine.
I look back, and believe me, God has shown me the wrongs I did, my heart grieves for the way I made him feel disrespected, unloved, unworthy, and unvalued. I was blinded to what I was doing.
Cast away from yourselves all the transgressions you have committed, and fashion for yourselves a new heart and a new spirit. Ezekiel 18:31
It was all about me and what I did or did not want. He was rarely home, always working -provided very well for me and our children, so I filled my days and nights doing WHATEVER I wanted.
We went to church regularly, but I had NO relationship with Jesus. My husband did. He constantly studied the word, prayed, and spoke with the Lord. Me- I went to church on Sunday, and that was it. No Word. No prayer. No seeking God for anything.
We lost our oldest son in 2014. His death, I believe, started the process of change in both our lives. Me, “Waking up,” and unfortunately for my husband, his heart hardening. Over the next year the Lord began working on my heart. Looking back now, I see where I was beginning to soften towards my husband. But he was being drawn away. I didn’t see it then. A year after our son’s death he left. One month after he left, I finally called out to God. AND HE answered! I can never fully explain the depth of my encounter with the Lord that night, but HE immediately CRUSHED my heart of stone and gave me a heart of flesh! Where I had believed I felt no love, and even at one point hated my husband, God’s love washed over me, and I felt more loved than I had ever experienced before. Then.. HE filled me with love for my husband!
I will give them a heart to know Me, that I am the LORD. They will be My people, and I will be their God, for they will return to Me with all their heart. Exekiel 11:19
I say all this to tell you all. It’s not about you OR them. It’s about God, and our relationship with HIM. I believe with all my heart my husband had to give up on God to leave our marriage and family. I don’t know if he has realized that yet, but he will, and I will be there for him when he does. My husband firmly believed, stood on, and preached Matthew 19:1-10, and 1 Corinthians 7:10-11. My brother told me at the very beginning of my walk, “A man who is FULLY committed to CHRIST, cannot and will not just walk away from his marriage and family.” He was right.
SO. Your 1st prayers should ALWAYS be for your spouse’s relationship with Jesus. I fully believe once they return/turn to HIM, they WILL come home. That IS the fruit of true repentance…I am living proof of that, and as I am hearing of my husband’s seeking a relationship with the Lord again, I know it is only God’s timing, and he WILL return. Keep your eyes OFF what they are doing, your ears OFF what they are saying… NONE of it is true! Under that hard, cold, stony heart, is a heart of flesh that loves you.. Only Jesus can crush that heart and allow love to be set free!
God Bless you and STAND strong in the LORD!
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