One night as I was heading to bed in the early years of our storm, God spoke to me, “threshing floor”. He then showed me a quick picture of Ruth lying on the threshing floor at Boaz’s feet. He didn’t enlighten me with an explanation that night, so I went to sleep.

 Later that evening our kids left their beds and climbed in with us as they usually do. To escape the flailing arms, I flipped around and laid with my head at the foot of the bed to give myself more room. Not long after,  I was woken up by the presence of my husband’s FEET just inches from my nose. 

Right away God started to speak to me about Ruth and how she slept at the feet of Boaz. This could not wait till morning so I snuck into the living room and read the book of Ruth. As I read, God started to speak to me about HOW I was trying to reclaim MY title of wife and He showed me that my posture, position, attitude, and demeanor were ALL WRONG.

I found a few images of Ruth lying at his feet and I just stared at them. God was showing me that this was so far from the place and the position that I had been taking with my husband. I would chase him from room to room, trying to beat the lies and darkness out of him with my words. I would raise my voice and stoop so low to belittle his intelligence, When that did not work, I would compare him to my dad and others. These people were individuals that we had previously talked about and agreed were unsavory characters. When THAT approach failed, I would push him into calling his dad to get a “deciding opinion.” 

Never once did I yield so that he could figure things out for himself. Instead of helping my husband, I was hurting him. I was dressing myself as the villain. I was controlling, pushy, self-righteous and condescending, and certainly was not showing him who Jesus was.

A wise woman builds her home, but a foolish woman tears it down with her own hands. Proverbs 14:1, NLT

God showed me how Ruth prepared herself to present herself worthy as a wife to Boaz.

Then Naomi her mother-in-law said to Ruth, My daughter, shall I not seek rest or a home for you, that you may prosper? And now is not Boaz, with whose maidens you were, our relative? See, he is winnowing barley tonight at the threshing floor. Wash and anoint yourself therefore, and put on your best clothes and go down to the threshing floor, but do not make yourself known to the man until he has finished eating and drinking. But when he lies down, notice the place where he lies; then go and uncover his feet and lie down. And he will tell you what to do.  And Ruth said to her, All that you say to me I will do. So she went down to the threshing floor and did just as her mother-in-law had told her.  And when Boaz had eaten and drunk and his heart was merry, he went to lie down at the end of the heap of grain. Then [Ruth] came softly and uncovered his feet and lay down. At midnight the man was startled, and he turned over, and behold, a woman lay at his feet! And he said, Who are you? And she answered, I am Ruth your maidservant. Spread your wing [of protection] over your maidservant, for you are a next of kin. And he said, Blessed be you of the Lord, my daughter. For you have made this last loving-kindness greater than the former, for you have not gone after young men, whether poor or rich. And now, my daughter, fear not. I will do for you all you require, for all my people in the city know that you are a woman of strength (worth, bravery, capability).

(Ruth 3:1-11, ESV)

Ruth washed and anointed herself and dressed with her best clothing,. Then she showed Boaz exactly what kind of wife she would be. A woman who was HUMBLE, willing to lay at his feet, and await his instructions.

There is no disputing that we are legally and rightfully the spouse. The enemy is who has stolen from us. Being followers of Jesus we have the legal authority. In God’s perfect timing, there is mature proper way to take back what the enemy has stolen.  God will show your spouse WHO they are meant to be with. HE will help your spouse SEE who is the wheat, and who is chaff. That is the threshing floor, and that is where Ruth positioned herself not through brazen bullying………but through HUMBLE HUMILITY.

Humble yourselves before the Lord, and He will lift you up. (James 4:10).


At harvest time, the grain needed to be separated from the chaff (the inedible part of the grain). Customarily a threshing floor was located on the top of a hill, which was for the purpose of catching the wind in order to the blow the chaff away from the grain. The people would take a flail to throw the grain up in the air, so that the chaff would be blown away and the good grain would fall down onto threshing floor. The threshing floor was a place of SEPARATING the REAL from the FAKE!

That night, God was telling me to humble myself. To REPOSITION and PRESENT myself to my husband AS his loving, loyal and devoted wife. Then he would be able to see me as the real true person/partner that he was looking for. At that point, I was acting no different from the chaff that he had in his life who was using manipulation and control to persuade him.

My pride kept rising up against lying at his feet. It was telling me that I was being a doormat and that I needed to stand up and rebuke his sins openly. So what I really needed was God’s instruction in this area to open my eyes, to see it how God and my husband saw it. Through His wise counsel, I was able to repent. Once I repented, I was able to start working on being  humble and being the loving wife through my example, not my words. This allowed my husband a chance to flail and let God bring the wind to blow the chaff away.

Many of you are trying to reclaim your role from a different position. From a controlling, lording over stance, instead of a humbling yourself. Some of you are operating in a face to face combat position. Always disputing, arguing, fighting.which leads to a competitive showdown game of “battle of the wills.” Some of you are in the position of thinking that you better than your spouse and look down upon them from your elevated, self-righteous place that you’ve been very comfortable in. You are right and they are wrong and you believe this gives you the rightful ‘authority’ to expose their sins.

Hypocrite! First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye. (Matthew 7:5, NLT)

May we all learn to be RUTHS! The wheat is wheat! And it can’t be changed. Yes it can get hidden in the chaff, but it’s still wheat. YOU ARE THE rightful spouse, and they are the chaff, and when God’s wind blows…… will be blown away!

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. (Psalm 23:5, NIV)

Standing with you,

Sheila Hollinger

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