“Perhaps this is the moment for which you have been created for..” – Adapted from Esther 4:14

Hey Y’all, it’s me, Lauren. I want to allow you to walk with me through our story of And Then There was Grace. I’ll start you out with a little back story since we all have one before we met our spouses, so it will all come together towards the end.

Well for starters we both grew up in Franklin but in totally different home lives. I was adopted by two loving parents from Ukraine, I was dropped off at the orphanage at 6 weeks and stayed there until I was almost 3, mom calls the airport her delivery room, where 70 people waited anxiously for my arrival on February 13th, 1993. Watching my parent’s marriage growing up was beautiful until I got older and started to see their own battles up and down. I remember one year I threw them an anniversary party, had friends and family together to celebrate them, that year I knew that they weren’t okay. (It was very awkward) that following year, after quietness they mentioned they were going to a Marriage Retreat, that weekend was a game-changer for them! I saw them love each other in a new way that only God could do, I saw Hope!!

During that time I was doing my own thing in and out with relationships, didn’t know truly who I was in Christ even though I was brought up in church and surrounded by Jesus loving parents. High School years I continued to spiral downhill, I was into things that I shouldn’t be even thinking of. I was running with the wrong crowd and my parents changed my High School to a smaller school in hopes I would turn around. I got into soccer and I was having the time of my life! Then junior to senior year just running with the wrong crowd and sneaking behind their backs to smoke pot or go to parties to drink. Finally graduated and they were happy I was getting out of that crowd but I continued to do my own thing, dated a guy that they didn’t approve of and missed out on some experiences my parents were trying to guide me to.

College started and I broke things off with him, starting the year right, met another guy who my parents adored and his family adored me..it was like oil and water with us though because I was still wanting to be rebellious, he got hurt a lot by me..finally that chapter closed. We both moved on.

Now onto my husband, Justice. He grew up in Franklin as well, he was raised by his grandmother and his mom, sister and brother. But mainly I will say his granny was his main support. He was the baby of his family, he mentioned his granny would drag him into church as much as possible to keep him on the straight and narrow, also brought up how his mom placed him in a box on the side of the road and his granny grabbed him and began really taking care of him. He never knew of who his dad was and his dad never reached out, I sense he felt abandonment from both parents. They moved around Franklin a lot due to financial hardships that would hit the home. He recalls walking to school, walking to the laundry mat and sometimes not even having lights on and falling asleep to gunshot noises outside his window at night, and going to bed with an empty stomach. His mom was out and about with men.

He got caught up in a church group and went to various youth group trips in his teenage years and then at a tender age of 14 he became a Christian with the help of his pastor in Franklin. During his years of High School, he played basketball and was heading towards the right direction and working to provide for his family. I may add he worked full time and went to school as well. Then he graduated in hopes to start his college life when tragedy struck his family, his brother his best friend died in a fatal car accident by the girl he was dating..their hearts were torn apart and understandably Justice began to work more and more just to help provide for his family.

Then there was us in 2010, we met before Valentine’s Day. I began working with him at Publix, he was my trainer. I was heartbroken by my own mistakes and he was just there to work and provide. He came through my line when I was by myself finally and was buying a cosmic brownie, I asked him for a bite of his brownie. (No pun intended) We began talking on the phone and seeing each other at work more and more. He took me out a week later to a Chinese place on my break at work, we sat and talked about who we were and how we grew up. We would go to the park and just walk around and talk. I mentioned I was ready to move out of my parent’s house since their rules were too strict (as I thought) they gave me until May 2010. A month or two passed I was dating Justice, we were happy but I was still not sure who or what I was in Christ. My parents met with him behind my back a handful of times to see really who he was and what his intentions were and to warn him I was not really the relationship type of girl for him.

Move out day, May 31st, 2010. It was heartbreaking for mom watching me pack my plastic bags and having no idea where I would land, I stayed here and there and finally landed in my grandma’s nursing homeroom. I had nothing. I was still on the run and didn’t know what I wanted, Justice was still in my life..but didn’t know what I was trying to do. Nonetheless, I had no idea either, finally, daddy’s mom was telling me to move in with her, I did. I was a block away from my parent’s house, but light-years away from them and God. Justice came by to meet Mina (daddy’s mom) and took me to get dinner and surprised me with a hotel room covered in roses..that night our daughter was conceived.

Still, on the run he tried soooo hard to be there for me. After a family get together at the lake house, I found out I was pregnant. I was barely 20, and he was about to be 21 that fall. I wasn’t sure what to think or do…6 pregnancy test later daddy confirmed I was indeed pregnant. My parents were heartbroken. Loss of words mom tried to encourage me all that she could and showed me love and grace while daddy was full of rage and confusion. I moved in with Justice and his family. They were both hurt. We found a place in Nashville called Hope Clinic for Women. Jesus filled that Clinic as well with helpful loving women and men to help each pregnant woman who entered their doors, as well as men to help the daddies. Mom and I went hand in hand into the clinic to see the baby’s heartbeat and ultrasound. I was 6 weeks, heartbeat strong and a little baby growing. Later on, I began working at Hobby Lobby full time and back at home with them. Life was very tense, daddy filed divorce papers, told mom he couldn’t go through anymore towards the end of that year. I was pregnant and depressed. Watching mom just go with the motions and trying to love daddy showed me this is the wife I want to be loving through the hardest of times. Justice was very active in my life and continued to stand by my side, as well as mom. Finally, my parents began to see a therapist at the clinic to help cope with my pregnancy as well as Justice and I. We all were helped and loved and shown Christ!

“What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?” -Romans 8:31

December 2010, we moved in together at a condo in Franklin, it was good for the most part..finally starting a new healthy life. We never really placed God first though we just went through the motions. February 2011 I had our little Miss Anna-Claire. She was perfect, beautiful and all that I could ever imagine..my parents were over the moon and loved her from that moment on. We saw God’s love in our little baby girl. We became engaged in March 2010, and had the opportunity to share our pregnancy story at the Hope Clinic for Women Gala in Nashville in front of 500 plus people. Leading on the next few years I spiraled again. Doing what I wanted going out with the girls and running…you’d think with a baby at home you’d stop all your party days but that was when it really hit me hard. I was talking to other guys and doing me. August 2012 my best friend died, I was at my in-laws living with our family and I spiraled again and again. I began therapy and got to the root, I had abandonment issues. Moved back home with my parents with Justice and our daughter trying to plan a wedding and finding a new apartment, it was stressful.

January 2013..Marriage Life!
We got married, we thought all our worries would fade, and struggles would end. I continued to spiral after a few months of being married. I was involved with other guys, Justice was clueless until he was brought into the light of it all.I cleaned up my act after my parents finding out, then began more therapy to get past what I was doing to myself and as well to my family. Little did I know Justice was standing for our marriage, praying endlessly for me and for us during that trial. This lady at my work walked up and told me one night that my word was HOPE. I tried to change in my own strength, once again getting knocked down. finally, I saw Jesus in my husband Justice. And our daughter as well, their love was enough for me, their forgiveness was what I needed, I saw God’s love consume them both!!

2014, the end of that year was the hardest. Seeing Justice leave for work and not returning till late at night, watching him distance himself from me, then finally announcing he wanted a divorce, he was done. He would care for our daughter with me but once she was asleep, we would go our separate ways, he would sleep on the couch and I would be in our bedroom, he moved out by the beginning of the year 2015, I filed for divorce since that is what I thought was the best option. We didn’t talk much but those first few months were by far the hardest, between pick ups and drop off with our daughter and me begging for him back countlessly, no change at all.

I spiraled again. Hanging out with the wrong friends and people, as he was dating other women, my heart in shreds. Watching our daughter cry out for her daddy broke me every day in and day out. We had a bunch of false starts from the getgo, never placed God in the midst of it. I remember being with him and thinking and knowing his mind was elsewhere, we tried everything to knock each other down, I’d bring up the past and he would say he couldn’t trust me. I had my first sign from God that God was going to restore my marriage, it was a snowflake (our reception theme was snowflakes)!  I saw them everywhere, the crazy thing is that it was in the summer!! We went through more false starts that followed, my parents were watching our daughter more and more since I started working overtime and overnights at the healthcare place I was working at the time and then they mentioned how they think it would be healthy for her to be with them full time, we went through a custody battle, we lost..she began living with them full time and we would have her on our off days. She needed that support more than ever, now looking back I am grateful she was guarded and loved during our hardest years!

I was shown my first vision of seeing myself wrapping up in God’s presence!! During this time I surrounded myself in the midst of prayer warriors and marriage groups. I went from back and forth, from standing on my promise God gave me to going back around the wrong people. I had my prayer warriors praying for me and Justice daily!! I felt like I wasn’t worthy enough for my prayers to be heard. Some people thought I was crazy for waiting and praying for him while others encouraged me to keep going and pray!! I had family members call me crazy and to move on, but I stood still.

2017 We continued to have false starts, then finally I began to see a change in Justice, I began to see the man I married but new, I saw a light in him that was once dull. I saw him broken. I saw him finally at the end of his battles. I found out our divorce papers that I had filed were thrown out, but I was still hurt and running. I thought I deserved to be happy, then the enemy trapped me. I was involved with another man, he was married (reminded me daily that his marriage was nothing but roommates) and he told me all his wounds and hurts of his wife and the world. I was engulfed in the lively lifestyle he brought on, with expensive dinners to events and being showered with what my heart wanted. It was like I found my inner dream girl, he brought out a side of me that I never knew existed, some of my girlfriends were happy and others were simply shocked what I was putting myself through.

I was spoiled by a lot of worldly things and with lavish gifts and dinners. One dinner I remember I drank so much just to get my husband off my mind, I didn’t want to think of Justice but all I could do was think “what he would say about my makeup and hair done-up and this gorgeous dress I’m wearing, and how would we pay for this crazy high bill on the table?”

Then God started getting closer to Justice and Justice grew closer to God, he began reaching out more and loving on me, even while I was running full swing Justice was there! But more importantly, God was shining out of my husband! Conviction started, I started hearing loud knocks on my door in the middle of the night, if you know me well you know I can sleep through a tornado, I can sleep through anything, but these knocks were loud! I woke up to it numerous nights. As time went on I continued my relationship until finally I was drained, I was tired of running.

Justice texted me one day asking if we could grab lunch and I was on my way with the other man to lunch, I tried to dismiss it but he kept asking, finally, I looked at him and said turn around my husband needs me, he shook his head and said well I’ll move the reservations for this weekend, we will meet again. I kinda sulked for a minute but I just let it go. I went to lunch with my husband, not really unusual but it made me happy. I was happy to be around him I wanted to have him so bad but again I was in my warped relationship. My manager’s brother kept telling me I needed to end things with the other man since he knew all that was going on, us coworkers would go out and the other man would join, he would try to tell me it wasn’t healthy. I’d push him away by saying I can handle it. We worked in a mom and pop restaurant, all of us were like family. The other man approached him and said to leave me alone and let me make my own decisions and that I chose him. I continued running finally my husband found out about my affair. Justice was heartbroken and hurt all over again. I told him I’d stop the affair, but I didn’t..shortly after it picked back up, stronger fiercer and more emotion. I felt like I was juggling two worlds and I was, the dinners continued as I thought sooo much of my husband and his hurting..

And Then There was Grace…April 2018

After Justice found out my affair was still going, he told me to chose God or my running, at this point, there was no denying what God did in my husband Justice’s life. In that year God brought him back to God and showed him His true love, His overwhelming peace and His path for him. Justice was renewed and changed and transformed!! He was my husband I married but better!! He was forgiving and loving and so very tender with me, I could see God in him more than ever before!! Then God told him “Go Home help your wife heal, and love her, she needs to see Jesus in you!!!!”  My husband did what God had asked, and I saw God in and through him, God told me he is safe. I couldn’t stop seeing Jesus in him! I went back to God!

After RESTORATION, no one really talks about after all said and done, but I keep seeing Jesus in my husband like never before, the way he prays for us every night, how he carries himself to how he loves our daughter and myself! God didn’t just restore us but He restored our families and He restored our relationships with our family, on both sides! Not only is God blessing us but showing us His calling on both of our lives, including our daughters!! I got to witness in the summer of 2018, our daughter getting baptized by Justice and daddy! She asked Christ in her big heart the prior year. We have seen each other shine at work..me being a waitress I get to share where God placed me there when I applied on just a whim to change restaurants and now watching my sweet husband pursue his dream career of becoming a deputy!! I love watching what God is doing in each of our lives around us!! It’s incredible!! It’s All JESUS!!!

Love, Mrs. Harrison