1 Corinthians 13:5

It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

1 Corinthians 13:5 tells us that love keeps no record of wrongdoing.
Some standers don’t realize that because they are holding that list of wrongdoings so tightly, it’s affecting them as a person.  If this is you, then keep on reading.  And even if you don’t think this is you, it’s a good reminder.  
When you read the bible, it’s so hard to read it, hear it, absorb and feel the truth because that record of wrongdoings committed against you is changing everything about how you approach your time with God and in the Word. You are not forgiving if you are not ready to let that record go.
You will enter every debate and argument you have with that list as your main proof to stand on. It will keep your heart hard, unable to heal.
There is NO good fruit that comes when we hold tightly to what has been done to us. The fruit will make you bitter, unreasonable, and illogical. You will find scripture to support your pain, people to support your right to divorce. You will choose to do what you feel support by, instead of what God wants to speak to you.
It’s imperative to forgive them. Let that list of wrongs go and be free from it. Let God begin the healing and changing of your heart and take you on a journey of where He wants you to go. Sometimes it’s that list that stops you from getting the answers you seek. You will remain forever stuck in the past wanting to bring that into your future, but it won’t be God’s future for you, but one of pain and misery created by YOUR list of wrongdoings.