In the month of September 2016, I’ve discovered that my husband of 24 years was unfaithful. During the first two weeks of September, I felt in my spirit that something was not right. He was distant and always found something to do and would often get home very late. Although I had suspected that something was wrong, I didn’t want to believe it. During this time, I had a really strange dream that my husband was wearing an all gray sweat suit and lying next to me in our bed. As he was sleeping next to me, there was something different about him and then I heard the Lord said, “He is not your husband.”

I didn’t really understand the dream until after I discovered the affair. You see, in the dream he looked like my husband, was built like my husband but he was not my husband because he was a different person, deceived by satan into doing things he wasn’t supposed to be doing. He couldn’t love me, honor me or cherish me like God intended because he was not my husband. The dream was God’s warning of the person who I would be dealing with in the months to come.    

In the months prior, during some of our heated arguments, he stated that he was leaving once our youngest child finished high school. I didn’t think much of it when he first threw it in my face but after the second time he said it, I took it seriously. I got on my knees and sought God for direction. I repented to the Lord for anything I have said or done that made my husband felt disrespected. I read books and blogs on respect and I asked my husband to forgive me, thinking we were finally heading in the right direction and that all was well.

Although I thought all was well, I recalled the first two weeks of September 2016 to be the loneliest I’ve ever been. I often came home to an empty house because he was busy with work and other things and my children were occupied with their own activities. It was as if the spirit of sadness was in the air and I couldn’t understand why. I reached out to a really good friend of mine, a woman of God and asked her to pray for me and with me. It was then that I described to her the emotions I had been experiencing and the suspicion that my husband maybe unfaithful. 

She encouraged me to continue praying and suggested that we both fasted and prayed until God showed me what my husband had been doing. So I did just that, I prayed and fasted and two days later, God revealed everything to me. In that moment, I felt as if my whole world had shattered, my heart was in shamble and the image of the man I loved so much dissipated. It was as if darkness had made its way into my home and all I could do was cried.  

With all the evidence I’ve accumulated, the Lord gave me immense strength to confront my husband in a loving way. As much as I loved this man, I couldn’t bear to be in the same room with him. I was devastated. I knew I had to make a decision so I checked into a hotel to sought God like never before. I got on my face and poured out to God with everything I had within me and cried until I couldn’t hardly breathe. My heart was indecisive; one moment I wanted to make it work and another moment, I wanted to throw in the towel. I blamed him, the strange woman, myself and everything in between. After being away from him for a week, I still was unable to make a decision. 

It was on a Monday night, in a healing service that I heard the co-founder of this healing ministry said something along this line “Don’t be double-minded because confusion is from the devil.” It was during this time, I heard God said for me to stand for my marriage. I had no idea how to stand but I told God I will be obedient and do as He had asked me to. I decided to stand and I was not going to be double-minded no matter what it looked like. I trust that if God said it, He would fulfill it. Once I decided to stand, God promised me that He would return to me all that the enemy had stolen from me. He promised He would restore my marriage and He led me to a few wonderful marriage restoration ministries, Standers United being one of them. 

Through the ministries, I’ve learned what it meant to stand and how to pray for my husband. I realized there were many prodigal spouses and it encouraged me to pray harder, not only for my husband but also for the spouses of others. After hearing the stories from others, I realized I was not the only one going through this horrible ordeal. I realized that satan used the same tactics to draw people away from their covenant spouse and family. I would screamed and yelled at the devil, I would rebuke every negative thoughts and feelings and praised God for what He was about to do in my marriage. I held unto HIM with everything within me. I knew that if I let go, it meant I was handing my husband, my children and myself over to satan so I refused to give in. I was adamant to fight! As long as God put air in my lungs, I was going to fight. I recited scriptures, personalized them and paste them all over the house. I put them in my husband’s closet, in his car, under his pillow. I was determined to do whatever it took. 

There were moments I wanted to crawl into a hole, moments I wanted to stay in bed and moments I wanted to give up but I made sure to stay in the Word, listened to praise and worship, called a Godly female friend for encouragement and got on my knees and prayed then I declared my victory. I would fast and prayed, I had done different types of fasting and I believe that it was my 21 days Daniel fast in January 2017 that gave me the breakthrough in the following months that year. In July, I’ve noticed the calls between my husband and the strange woman dwindled down, the text messages decreased greatly, and the personal meetings died out. And then I noticed my husband was home more, started to share where he was going more; he was not fully himself but I could start to see he was changing for the better and this was when I knew my breakthrough was around the corner.  

During this time, he was still bitter and resentful and often times blaming me for why he did what he did. I knew the battle wasn’t over and was determined to continue my stand. I never stopped praying and continued to fast. As each year rolled around, I started to see his heart soften towards God and towards me. I always prayed that God would make his heart pliable, give him a heart of flesh and removed the heart of stone. I prayed the prayer in Hosea over him…that the Lord would wall him in with thorn bushes and because God’s words do not go out void but go out to do what He sent it to do, it did just that…He fully restored my marriage.

This year, I can certainly see my husband’s love for me. God has placed great affection in his heart for me and now often tells me how much he loves me and is in love with me. He promised it was the first and last time he would ever put me through that kind of pain and realized that no one out there is worth losing me. Not only has he shown love for me through his words but also through his actions. He calls me often throughout the day to let me know where he is, how his day is going and to make sure I’m good. This September, we celebrated our 27th anniversary and it would not have happened if God was not in it. I give God all the glory and honor for HE is amazing!! Today, I can honestly say this man is my husband!!

If God tells you to stand then you stand. If He said He will restore your marriage, He will! Things may look impossible but with God, anything is possible! “God is not a man, so he does not lie. He is not human, so he does not change his mind. Has he ever spoken and failed to act? Has he ever promised and not carried it through?” – Numbers 23:19

~In His Love
Traycee

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