Are You Jonah?-Marriage Restoration

Sometimes we want to make our spouses be held accountable for their choices. We can’t stand to hear anything that remotely resembles letting them off the hook in any way. Hear any terms that surround the circumstances they are in, Such as; blindness, lost, darkness, snare, being handed over to satan. And the big one, this is a spiritual battle, not a battle we fight in the flesh.

When I have ministered to those that have a very hard time accepting this place their spouse is in might have something to do with something they could not control, what I often uncover in the Stander is the fear of losing justification.

To admit that their spouse was overtaken and blinded, would mean they have to stop blaming the spouse, blame the enemy and they can no longer hold onto what they have been holding. They can no longer hold against the spouse what they have been holding.

Vengeance is a dangerous thing because it won’t allow the truth to rob of vindication.

God knows that for us to take vengeance, we have to portray them in such a way to ensure they deserve our treatment of them. The way we speak about them to others. Our mistreatment of them. Taking vengeance FEELS good. It makes them pay for what they have done because we see God doing NOTHING about it. In fact, we see them happier and think God is totally ignoring them. This is why some take matters into their own hands and turn to vengeance. Because they want them to pay. Want them to suffer and FEEL bad for what they have done to you.

Vengeance is a trade-off. You enter into a darker, bitter state, but the payoff is your FLESH and PRIDE gets atonement. You lose that closeness with God as you turn more deeply to darkness, but as long as your flesh feels vindicated, you keep going.

The more satisfaction we get out of making our spouses suffer, the more we will reject anything that comes to take that away from us. We HATE messages about forgiving, compassion, turning the other cheek, blessing them. We hate messages that explain the spiritual battle they are in, how they have a hard heart, and the snare the enemy has trapped them in. We hate hearing how God is the one that frees them and draws them to Himself and until He does that, your spouse remains trapped and in darkness.

The only message we love to hear when there is vengeance leading us is that they are fully responsible for the decisions they have made and God is going to hold them accountable and make them pay for how they have hurt you. We love to hear how God is going to defend you

If this is you, you are a JONAH!

Let’s talk about this story. Jonah ran from God when he found out that God asked him to go to a city and tell the people there that God was calling them to repent so they could be free from the consequences of their sins.

Jonah was furious and ran. He hated the Ninevites for all the evil they had done to his people. He didn’t want mercy or compassion. He wanted fire and brimstone. He wanted God to destroy them, not forgive them.

So he complained to the LORD about it: “Didn’t I say before I left home that you would do this, LORD? That is why I ran away to Tarshish! I knew that you are a merciful and compassionate God, slow to get angry and filled with unfailing love. You are eager to turn back from destroying people. Jonah 4:2

At the end of Jonah, God revealed to him his selfishness. How he cared more for a plant that was covering him to keep the sun off, than he cared for others. Jonah was known for running away, but the truth of the message was Jonah was selfish and put what he wanted above caring for the lost souls of others being given a chance to have the love and mercy of God.

Jonah 4:11 Should I not have compassion on Nineveh, the great city in which there are more than 120,000 [innocent] persons, who do not know the difference between their right and left hand [and are not yet accountable for sin],

How do you change? How did I change?

I was Jonah. I hated people. People had deeply hurt me and I had lost my faith and trust in them. So I became selfish and very self-centered. But I also hated myself.

It was only after having an experience with God and knowing how much He loved me and by being able to reciprocate that love for Him was I able to start loving and being devoted to His people. It’s what helps me minister and keeps me going day in and out. If I did not have this LOVE, then I would be doing it for self-promotion, and recognition, and if I got paid, then doing it for the money.

I would never have been able to do this for love had I not encountered His love and let Him heal me from all my own brokenness.

If you are a Jonah, God has a GOOD plan for you. Don’t RUN! Knowing how much you are loved is going to change your life!

Standing with you,
Sheila Hollinger