When God formed Adam from the dust and placed him in the garden, there was a time of establishment before He brought Eve into His life.

Read Genesis chapters 1 and 2 

God needed Adam to walk with Him and learn his identity, purpose and what he was created to do. He established him in his role and authority as a son, as headship and leader BEFORE making him a husband. This is worth meditating on. He created him and made him walk alone with Him before ever uniting him with another.  Man was created to have a helpmeet, but not before he has first come into a place where he is established with knowing who he is. The time of establishment where a man learns his identity apart from a woman is very important. Ladies, I know what some of you are saying, “He left me for another woman, he is not alone right now.” No…he is not, but God is still working on this establishment, yes ideally it would be better for this to happen AT home, but since your spouse is not willing to do that, God will do it where he is at. 

The amplified says about a man needing a helper. ((Read The Help Meet ))

Now the Lord God said, It is not good (sufficient, satisfactory) that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper (suitable, adapted, complementary) for him.19 And out of the ground the Lord God formed every [wild] beast and living creature of the field and every bird of the air and brought them to Adam to see what he would call them; and whatever Adam called every living creature, that was its name.20 And Adam gave names to all the livestock and to the birds of the air and to every [wild] beast of the field; but for Adam, there was not found a helper meet (suitable, adapted, complementary) for him. Genesis 2:18

(suitable, adapted, complementary) FOR HIM!

Men are not being established and grounded in what their God-given roles and identities are before marriage and it’s causing great confusion in the union. Adam was not an orphan or Fatherless. Men are meant to live in the home and grow up with their Fathers, learn and glean from them. That is what Adam did. But sadly, this is not happening as it should. Many men are growing up with an orphan spirit. Not understanding the adoption papers into the Kingdom are ready and waiting for them. Men have a blueprint!

The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.” Romans 8:15 NIV

Standing is giving you a gift. You are being called to the Garden to be established. It’s where you will truly learn who you are, created to be and this will help you to be the headship of your home. If you grew up without a father, there is no better time than now to come into a relationship with the perfect Father! Without this, you won’t be able to understand your authority.

Man was placed in the garden to SERVE God and have CHARGE over it. God gave man this purpose and responsibility to supervise and control. This is why when he took the fruit and ate, part of man’s punishment was woman desiring to contend for this control and be headship, so right away there was a contending and argument over the headship of the home.

A woman needs to enter into a relationship with a man that is already ESTABLISHED in his purpose and identity. He must be firmly grounded in who he is, his role of serving God, and guarding and protecting. Part of the control and guarding is making sure his role is not emasculated as women have the “desire and craving to control” Genesis 3:16

A man who is not established firmly will be steamrolled over by a woman who doesn’t understand her role as a helpmeet.

As a helpmeet, it’s important for us women to come under a man who will give us the security we need and also lead us without letting us control or contend for their headship.

Women are to submit and yield and find it beautiful, not demeaning. God will defend her and fight for her when she doesn’t try to take matters into her own hands and overrule her husband, but instead goes to the Lord first and allows HIM to work on her husband on behalf of her.

Men, this is the time to learn your roots! Learn to walk in the garden with your Father, but more importantly, learn to be established in your purpose to serve God and have charge! Teach your sons!

May our Father open your eyes to see who you are created to be and the potential you carry! We all have been created to carry the full potential of Christ! May we wake up each day and say “I have so much POTENTIAL”

A woman needs to be led, she needs to come into a relationship that is already set, established, SECURE and in proper working order, OR she will feel the leading to create that protection herself. She will be led to take over, establish and set herself up as the headship, but then deep down resent you, and you will resent her.

Men, please understand this is a season to walk with God and entrust Him with your wife. To allow God to teach you, build you, and reveal to you your true self by revealing to you Who HE is. In order to do this, you have to embrace this garden season and be ok with being alone and intimate with God. It’s a place that makes us squirm and want to run back to what we know and feel safe with.

But the Garden is where God is calling you, His sons! Learn to meet Him and take a walk with Him. If this is something that has been going on in your family line, then it might be a generational sin that has been passed on and needs to be cleaned by repentance and forgiveness.

Further reading, Blueprint of a Man

Standing with you,
Sheila Hollinger


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(~Marriage Revealed Ministries Inc. is committed to helping bring healing and restoration to couples who are struggling in their marriage. We do this through the revelation of Who God is and His heart and design for marriage which never intends abuse in any form. If you suspect abuse in your relationship, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 or visit them online at thehotline.org~