~Why Do We Choose to Disobey?~

Anyone who wants to do the will of God will know whether my teaching is from God or is merely my own. John 7:17

Jesus gave us a very key element to obedience here. He said that anyone that WANTS to do the will of God will be able to discern between the sound of truth, and the sound of something else. 

I am going to share that there were MANY times I heard what I knew was outright lies, or that my husband was speaking from his perception and I knew it was wrong, but I made the conscious decision to treat what he was saying in a way that lead me to embrace what he was saying so I could USE IT to make myself feel better because if I just let go of what they said, dismissed it then I was letting go of the very thing I needed to nurse my wounds.

When their words, actions, and judgments hurt us, we get offended and offense demands our pride to set in and bring retribution. And we can get that by holding onto the lie, saying we believe it’s truth and spreading it to anyone that will listen. EVEN if deep down, we know they are speaking from a lost, blind, deceived place, we can’t acknowledge that or that would be letting them off the hook. 

God’s will is for us to see the lie, forgive them, let it go, and speak and believe the TRUTH. But that is hard to do when we are offended, so we will do OUR will, which involves gossip, slander, self-pity, being a victim, and walking in unbelief …….which is ALL disobedience. AND all that disobedience steals from us the blessing God wants to pour out on those that hear His voice and obey. 

Jesus replied, “Anyone who loves me will obey my teaching. My Father will love them, and we will come to them and make our home with them.” John 14:23 

Now, there are other things that can come in and make us stumble that are not us choosing to hold onto the offense. We can become fearful of their words and actions and through that, become afraid of letting go of what they say because we worry about being blindsided. We still MUST overcome the fear and obey.

Pride will make us worry that we must consider what they tell us to be true because we don’t want to appear as fools. What if we get embarrassed? That is pride and no excuse to not obey God. We still must obey. 

Then there are those that are just too stubborn to dare to hope that what the spouse is saying is not true. They are so afraid of being disappointed, daring to hope that it’s lies, that they would rather guard their heart, believe everything that is said is truth, not caring if they are being disobedient. They believe that no one, not even God can protect them as well as they can protect themselves. 

Deuteronomy 28:1
If you fully obey the Lord your God and carefully follow all his commands I give you today, the Lord your God will set you high above all the nations on earth.

Matthew 7:24
Therefore everyone who hears these words of Mine and acts on them is like a wise man who built his house on the rock.

Luke 6:46
Why do you call Me ‘Lord, Lord,’ but not do what I say?

Luke 6:47
I will show you what he is like who comes to Me and hears My words and acts on them:

Romans 2:13
For it is not the hearers of the law who are righteous before God, but it is the doers of the law who will be declared righteous.


Father God,
Your Word says that “it is sin to know what you ought to do and then not do it. (James 4:17) I confess my sins to You that many times I knew what to do, but chose sin instead because my feelings were so strong I didn’t care about anything but that. I knew I was angry and sinning in my anger. I knew I was hurt and offended and chose to act in sin instead of doing Your will and forgiving and letting go of the offense.

Father, help my heart to want to choose Your will above my own. Help me see through my feelings and make the choice to believe You and turn to You for help and healing. Help me to let go of pride, offense, hurt, and obey You. When I want to repay evil with evil, help me see the harm in this. When I want to hold on to the hurt to bring consequences, help me understand that I also cause myself a consequence. Help me be quick to forgive so that I don’t fall into the trap of self-pity. Your Word says that the Holy Spirit will bring to my remembrance all that You have taught (John 14:26) I thank You for always reminding me what I need to know and helping me find the strength and courage to be obedient to You because You are looking out for me, and Your motives are to help me, not hurt me.
In Jesus’s name, I pray, Amen.

Standing with you,
Sheila Hollinger


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(~Marriage Revealed Ministries Inc. is committed to helping bring healing and restoration to couples who are struggling in their marriage. We do this through the revelation of Who God is and His heart and design for marriage which never intends abuse in any form. If you suspect abuse in your relationship, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 or visit them online at thehotline.org~