How To Save My Marriage from Adultery and Divorce

“How to save my marriage” was the term I searched on the internet while my husband was in adultery. I was desperate to find anything that would be a quick fix solution, but deep down, I knew what I was reading was not going to help. I kept searching, surely someone out there had the magic answer. I found a midlife crisis website and poured over all the information because it really did seem to fit. But deep inside, I was hearing God tell me that this, while very close, was not the answer. The real answer was something else, and if I wanted to understand, then I had to turn off and tune out the “world” and turn on, tune in to God, and ONLY God because He had information for me that really would save my marriage.

So, does God save marriages?

He saved mine! It’s been over 7 years now since TRUE restoration came. And I say true, because there were many times in our storm when I thought our marriage was “saved.” But I will get into that later.

God healed and restored my marriage when He called me to take a different approach to how I faced my husband’s infidelity and choices to end our marriage, instead of the world’s way, I chose God’s way.

No, it was not the easier way. Just like I found that being a Christian was not about making life easier either. There is a reason it says the narrow gate, and that we are pick up our cross and die to self. 

God’s way is very different because it’s about doing the right thing, not what makes us feel better. But ultimately, IF we are children of God, if we really have Him inside, doing the right thing does make us feel better, brings peace and contentment. And that is KEY. Because the lack of doing things His way is the very reason that our spouses got snared in adultery in the first place.

And that was where everything was different from the advice of the world. 

God told me that I was not the reason the marriage broke, even though everything was pointing to that fact, and it’s what my husband kept saying. As I pressed into God, I started to see things with my spiritual eyes more, and less with my pain and emotions. I started to understand that adultery, betrayal, and the heart that turns hard really is a SYMPTOM and not the root cause. That because God fixes the root cause, that is what fixes the rest. And what is that root cause? Not what the world teaches. 

While everyone else out there says to fix your marriage you have to work on the marriage, God says to fix the marriage, you have to work on YOUR first relationship. And that is with Him. We are to love God with our whole heart, our whole soul, our whole strength. And if we don’t, we become vulnerable in those places for lies, hurts, unbelief, and many other things to come in and alter us. That vulnerability then opens up accessibility for the enemy to swoop in and play the rescuer. 

How many of you suddenly found out that your spouse was not happy, they are no longer in love with you, and this other person was the best thing that ever happened? Maybe said they were sent by God? Soul mates? Maybe even said that they would rather die than stay married to you? That’s right, that is what happens when they get rescued by the wrong thing, by a fake savior. It’s not a rescue, it’s a snare. One that the adulterous spirits comes in and sets up. Don’t worry, you will learn all about these things later. 

So, how do you save your marriage from adultery? 

You don’t. God does. And that is OUR journey. Learning that it’s not up to us to fix them, because we didn’t break them. And even if we did, we don’t have the right knowledge to fix a broken heart and soul. Because God sees the heart, He is the one that knows exactly how to fix it. 

This is a journey that the Stander-the one standing for their marriage- has to take. Learning how to let God have it all. Our fears, our control, our trust. It’s a day-to-day journey that takes time. And time is something that we really hate to give to the Lord because we want our pain to end. So does God, but until it does, He is going to use our pain to teach us how to develop a relationship with Him. He is going to use our desperation for our marriage to be saved, to reveal to us Who He really is and win our trust and love. And while He is doing this, He is also working on that same thing with our spouses. Teaching them a life apart from Him is no life at all, and that snare they are in won’t bring them all that was missing in their life. 

So, you are here, looking for answers on if your marriage can be saved. Yes, it can. There are countless restoration testimonies from those that stood with God and let Him do the healing HIS way, and not looked to the world for the counterfeit way.

Is this way easier? No.
Quicker? No.
But is this way the way that is truth? Light? Yes.
Is this the way that will bring healing, deliverance, restore your faith and trust? Yes.

So you have to ask yourself. Do you want your marriage healed, or do you want your you, your spouse AND your marriage restored, healed, healthy and submitted to God? Because that is the difference. 

If you chose the latter, then we promise to do everything we can to support and encourage you. Bookmark this section, watch your YouTube Videos and keep educating yourself. There is a lot to learn, but you are not alone in this! 

Standing with you,
Sheila Hollinger