The Secrets Hidden Within Standing

We came to God asking, “Save our marriage” and for some, He took one look at our hearts, saw that we had no real relationship, knowledge, desire to do His will, or love for Him. And neither did our spouse. 

To grant us what we asked would mean giving us back something that kept us from Him. Those who have stood for a while and have been through the process of enlightenment will understand this. You want your marriage restored. God wants you saved.

But you are saved, right? If you go by the worldly understanding of what it means to be ‘saved’ then yes. But saved?

The true foundation of that word means deliverance, not delivered. An ongoing state of being delivered. It’s not saying the sinner’s prayer and continuing to live life on your terms. Sadly, many Christians get older, but never grow up. They never walk in deliverance and maturity in Christ. They remain lukewarm; separated from fully knowing Him and their identity. Your identity is discovered as you die to your selfish carnal nature and pick up your cross. As you discover Him, through the trials and suffering, you discover yourself.

“Then Jesus said to His disciples, “If anyone wishes to follow Me [as My disciple], he must deny himself [set aside selfish interests], and take up his cross [expressing a willingness to endure whatever may come] and follow Me [believing in Me, conforming to My example in living and, if need be, suffering or perhaps dying because of faith in Me].” (‭‭Matthew ‭16:24‬ ‭AMP‬‬)

Standing is one of, if not, the hardest trials you will ever suffer through. The reason it’s so difficult is because we often become more than just one flesh with our spouse. We set them up as an idol and get our worth and identity from them. If your spouse was the ONLY real love you ever knew, then it replaced God, not mirrored or reflected Him; and you will fight God tooth and nail to get back what you lost. God will not give you back something that is going to keep you from Him. He cares too much about you. He loves you too much to give you something that is in a current state of replacing Him. Our spouse and standing for our spouse can be an idol. We bond emotionally, physically, and spiritually with them with our whole hearts and soul.

If you are ever going to know God fully and have an intimate relationship with Him like you were created to have, then you must let go of your idol. It’s a battle. Some of us have zero desire to let that go. Our hearts want what our hearts want, and we throw an all-out temper tantrum at the thought of letting our idol go. For some, we feel that we are being asked to give up something with no hope or promise of gaining something better. We are truly blind to God’s love. We see ourselves having to give up the only love we know and being devastated with disappointment that God is not able to fill us where we experience what we had with our spouse. It’s a huge leap of faith.

  We cling to people, to what we know, because the unknown is scary. We may be willing to believe in Him to a certain degree, but to trust Him with that one part ……….being loved………..is HARD and not many are willing to do it. What if you don’t get what you need? What if you are left disappointed, empty, lonely? What if your spouse really was the greatest love you would ever know and God can’t even come close? Those are all real fears that come at us. Those are several of the reasons we are not willing to give up our idols. We get forced into it. God loves us so much, He will force us to let go of that idol!   Standing for your “marriage” is really filled with so many secrets around what God is doing in you. He has you all to Himself to teach you to trust, to have faith, and to show His love for you. He has you in a place where He is showing how MIGHTY He is to you so that you will have CONFIDENCE in Him. As long as my spouse was in the way, I could not get to know God the way I needed to. For some of us, intimacy makes us want to RUN from God, end our Stand and turn to people. Intimacy with God means we must face our unworthiness, shame, and the realization that we don’t accept or love ourselves.  

When the God Who is love, comes face to face with our shame, our rejection issues, our unworthiness, and our orphan spirit, we will reject Him because we reject ourselves and discount ourselves as worthy. That is what the orphan spirit does. It rejects God’s unconditional love, and what Jesus did on the cross because it never accepted the adoption we were grafted into through the blood of Jesus Christ. We walk around feeling Fatherless but crying to the Father to give us back our spouses. We reject HIS love because the orphan spirit won’t acknowledge we were MADE worthy.

 “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.” (‭‭Psalm‬ ‭139:13-15‬ ‭NIV‬‬)

 It’s why some of you strive, work, try to earn His love, and keep falling short. It’s why some get so angry and feel rejected by God because they aren’t getting from Him what they want. Orphans feel they don’t fit in or belong. They embrace this lie as the truth that there is something wrong with them.   Now can you see what Standing can do for you? It can help you accept your adoption and let go of the lie.  

“I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.” (‭‭Galatians‬ ‭2:20‬ ‭NKJV‬‬)  

You have been bought. Chosen. Picked. ADOPTED not because of who YOU are…………..but because of Who Jesus is and the price He paid for you and you BELONG TO HIM!  

Standing with you,
Sheila Hollinger